Blue

Dear PTBS,

You’ll never read this letter, but that’s okay. I still love you. Maybe I always will.

When you told me you wanted to see other people, it came as a relief. I knew for a long time that you did not love me anymore, not like when we met. Ah, it was so passionate, so intense. You pushed me away, I clung harder. The harder I clung the harder I pushed.

I didn’t throw anything away. Not wanting to be unloved again is not throwing away what we had, but it is moving onto finding something new. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I was ready to be loved.

I hope that you find that love you’re looking for. I hope you stop carrying your dad on your heart. I hope life is everything you wanted it to be – what it couldn’t be with me.

All my love,

JLK

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