It’s not fair!

It’s not fair!

It’s not fair!

My darling Teddybear,

Monday will be a special day because it is the anniversary of the day we started the train going… Our love was beautiful. I could never ask for more. Only, I will be alone on Monday. My insides are numb. I feel like a part of me was ripped out and thrown into a peat bog. I hate racism. It isn’t fair that I can’t be with you. I hate my family for this. I really do. My mother is a devil! She just cannot see me happy. I don’t care if you’re black – I like that fact. I am so sorry that my parents are so stupid. I wish with all my heart that you would look past them.

I wish you would believe me when I say that they would not be an integral part of our life. I wish you didn’t tell me to stay at home instead of moving out into my own place. I wish you didn’t encourage me to patch things up with them. I wish you just took me. I have them now but it’s the same. My mom still hates me. She still treats me like I am a burden. You were the only person who ever really cared for me. No one else ever did.

I wish you would return. I can hear the anger in your voice when we talk. I can see the pain in your eyes when we meet at class. I know why you avoid me. You still love me. I wish you would forget them. There is no mending to happen between me and them. I can’t mend what was never there. And my dad really has come to accept the idea of a black son-in-law. I don’t want to be alone on Monday. I wish I were dead. I wish I were dead. It’s not fair! I love you! Please come back! We were so good together! So compatible! We had dreams… We were meant to be.

Please my teddy, I wish you would return. I wish. I really wish. I don’t know what to do to fix this mess. My mother makes so much trouble for me! I hate her! I don’t know how to fix this! Please, don’t keep away! Come back. Let our love take wing again. Love never fails!

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