You left

You left

You left

Dear Muffin,

I don’t think they will come a point when I will be okay with putting you in my Ex-boyfriends category. Although I no longer exist in your life, in mine you are still there and we are doing so well.

They ask me how I am I tell them it’s getting better and doing almost fine but hear it from me, it still hurts as much as that Sunday evening the 8th day of October when you just chose to leave.

You left, for no reason really according to my understanding, you had been rude, I ignored you yes, only because I was bitter, I didn’t expect to get such an answer from you. But couples fight every time, spend days not talking there nothing unheard of there… and you left because I went silent on you for a day.

If you want to be just, was it polite of you to swear at me and when I ask why u r swearing you respond “what do you want from me, yes I am swearing at you?” Seriously? What did I want from you? You were my man, I wanted a lot of love, care, respect…and an apology would have been fine since you were wrong.

You didn’t have to be mean about it and then dump me and put the blame on me. That was unfair and so wrong on all levels.

And you know the worst part is I never stopped loving you. Even though you were wrong, I agreed to take the blame just for us to get past it. I swallowed my pride to make things work… but u never saw all this; you were so self important that i meant nothing. I literally begged you to stay, I should give it to you… never before had I begged and pleaded for love. Don’t get it twisted I knew I could get far better than you no doubt, but I wanted you… I knew you had your flaws that got to me at times but it was a baggage I was willing to live with.

I promised I wouldn’t leave, and I meant it… but you told me they were just overused words that meant nothing. You said you needed time to grow and learn to tolerate me. What was there to tolerate? I am the one who should have asked for that but there is no time out in relationship… For better or worse remember?

You left and yes you hurt me… for the second time i cried for a man. And the difference with the first time is with you I was willing to give it my all… I gave you my all but you saw it as being stifling and yet others would say its love… you wanted time out yet you were so far away from me… What time did you need? Wasn’t the distance enough?

You said your books were more important and you ran out of love for me. Education is very important but it doesn’t cuddle you in cold nights. I understood you had to study but for you to find such a pathetic reason? Sometimes I wonder if you had found someone else or if you were still recovering from your ex… You could have told me… i would have waited patiently and helped you heal… i wasnt going to leave and i still haven’t.

I wish I could say after realising all your faults it made me better and I got over you and am happy now, sadly, I am still in love with you like never before… in and out will I get into relationships and will probably get married and have kids.. But I want you to know that I still love you and will always do.

If you ever come back for me I will still run to you, when you left, you took my heart with you and I am doing just fine without it… coz the ice cold painful cracked lump you replaced my heart with is doing a pretty good job of reopening every time I think of you.

I don’t wish you well in love coz I want you to look back and see me coz I am looking at you and hoping every single day that you’ll come back to me…

Please come back…

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