To my fiance’s ex-girlfriend

To my fiance’s ex-girlfriend

To my fiance’s ex-girlfriend

LTME postYou need to know what your emails, texts, stalking and phone messages have done to our relationship. Im not going to lie in the beginning you did make me question moving forward with him. There were things he didn’t initially tell me because he was scared of losing me, and hearing you say them only made me question his honesty. That night I talked to you on the phone and you told me he slept with you the week prior, is when I realized how much of a manipulative liar you actually are. See the night you claimed you slept with him we actually went to dinner and then watched a movie at home.

Since then you have been relentlessly stalking both of us, sending emails, text messages and calling from various numbers to try and steal attention from him. You have lied to the police after we went to get a restraining/harassment order and even worse dodged being served so you wouldn’t have to face the truth that he no longer wants to speak with you ever again. You have tried to ruin his lively hood by attacking his business, and you have continued to trash his good name. Enough! Enough with the evil emails telling me story after story of how you two loved each other. Enough with the rants about how he will hurt me the way he hurt you. Enough with calling his phone in the middle of the night, the social media stalking, and the stories to others of how he is shady. You two shared 4 months together and it’s been 8 months since you split. More than enough time has passed for you to move on!

I get why you loved him because I love him, and I know he had a past prior to me. It is not a matter of what you shared, it’s a matter of respecting what we now share. You claim all these things, however he asked ME to marry him, I’m the one wearing an engagement ring, and WE are the ones planning our lives together. I have news for you, none of those plans have ever involved you! Although I used to be angry, and hurt by your obsession to ruin his life and mine in the process, I now pity you completely. I feel sorry for you that you never learned the coping skills to be able to constructively get over pain. How horrible for you that you live in the agony of loosing this man that I now have, and absolutely cherish. All I can do is thank you for not doing what was necessary to keep him with you, and a big thank you for acting so crazy after you split. It ensured he would never want to return. Although it caused some stress at first, now all it does is make us completely closer.

You have been a topic of discussion, so I’m sure your pleased to still be mentioned, however know this…it is usually among friends and family that knew you when you were with him. And almost everyone of them has told me how incredibly crazy you are. I hope you find whatever serenity you seek to be able to finally be happy with your life. Until then enjoy our photos of us traveling, spending time with our families and friends, prepping for our wedding, buying a home together and of us falling in love with each other more and more everyday!

6 Comments

  1. anony 3 years ago

    whoa… i can understand your frustration here, i really can… you have found someone who makes you happy, and all you want to do is to live your life without interference – i get that, and I’m sure that many can empathize. having said that… i think you should be careful with how you choose to handle this. calling somebody “crazy” – somebody you think you know, but really don’t – is one of the most damaging things you can do… and you could be on the receiving end of that label someday. regardless of the pain this is causing you, it is obvious that this person is hurting… you should really step up and be the bigger person here. just as this woman does not understand your bond with her ex, you can never understand the bond that she had with him. the length of their relationship is irrelevant… you can be with someone for 25 years and have a love that may never compare to the love that you may have once had with someone that only lasted a number of months. i am not saying you are wrong here… i am saying that you should try to understand why this woman is acting out. whether she is lying or not – that has no relevance to the damage that has obviously been done to her soul. it hurts to see the one you love with someone else… imagine yourself in her shoes. it can even make some people look crazy, because their actions are out of this world. but you must understand that when you committed yourself to this man, you were signing up to deal with all of the good & the bad… this is his baggage that you are now bearing. and remember that misperceptions are very easy to have when you are already biased to one side of the story… im sure you are happy right now, and i hope this works out for you… but the future is never known. i hope that you don’t end up feeling like his ex… Rubbing Facebook pictures in somebody’s face will not help them to heal. i have to ask, do you want this to stop, or are you just feuling the fire? it’s always nice to have what others want – but be very careful not to create such bad karma along the way. it could come back & bite you someday.

    • S 3 years ago

      Actually I feel by not actually sending this to her I am being the bigger person. I was under the impression you were able to write what you always wanted to say without actually having to say it. This is more a less an outlet for me to vent on the past 6 months of me keeping quiet. Hurting is one thing, however showing up at our home at 3 am, threatening violence, ignoring the constant request of being left alone, creating numerous fake profiles because your being blocked, having 10 different phone numbers within a 3 month period so you can constantly call, and realizing this has been a oattern of yours in your past relationships, shows there are some serious things going on mentally that are not ok. Being called crazy is the least of the problems here. I do however feel that your assumption of what my past experiences with love is insulting. The man that I share my future with was extremely clear with his intentions with her when they briefly dated. I share my life on Social media like the rest of the world, with friends and family. I don’t feel I should have to be sensitive to her because she chooses to hack profiles to see our experiences. To say I’m fueling a fire is ridiculous, I merely am journaling what I really want to say, however I am done trying to empathize with her any longer. There becomes a point where enough is enough. She has every right to feel however she wants about their relationship and what they shared. However no one has the right to harass and stalk someone, that is why they have laws in place. As I said in my initial email, the coping skills are not in place to deal with being sad. Even the most irrational situation still shoukd be handled accordingly. You can be as irrate and out of control in your head, those who act on those impulses need evaluation. Rational people do not act this way.

      • anony 3 years ago

        i did not make assumptions about your past experiences with love, and I’m not trying to negatively criticize you, I’m trying to help you to help someone else. I’m trying to make you understand that we are all irrational at times, especially when it comes to love. what this girl is doing to you is not “right” by any means, but as long as you feel the need to “get one up” on her, the problem will not go away easily, it will only end with hurt people who may be unable to pick themselves back up again. it’s fine that you are venting here – but venting reveals a lot about your own role in this too. it is understandable that you would find it difficult to empathize with somebody who has these issues. but even if you cannot find it in your heart to do so, it is in your best interest to treat her with kindness and refrain from pouring any salt into the wound – regardless of how she treats you. you could file a restraining order – but i would give this suggestion a chance first. talk to her calmly and politely while explaining why you cannot tolerate her behavior, and do not stoop down to her level – remember, she is hurting much more than you. take it from someone who has been on both sides of the fence… i was in your shoes before i was in hers. best of luck to you all.

  2. S 3 years ago

    I actually did emphasize with her at first, But when I realized mine and his safety was in danger I realized I was not dealing with someone who could rationalize properly. However I tried to speak with her when things first started to get out of hand, very calmly as I rarely ever raise my voice. I stated in the beginning she shed some light on questions I had and vice versa. But all communication ended on my end when she began lying and trying to manipulate the situation. I understand why she is upset, I originally said that in my email. Yes she loved him, and I never meant to demean what they had, I actually said that in the email. I demand respect at this point be I have been more than patient, understanding and kind considering how awful she has acted towards both of us. We did try to get a restraining order but she hid from being served. At this point we both decided to stay mute as we have been doing this whole time. I myself Have not experienced her position. in this situation but I have been on the end where one of my ex’s wouldn’t leave me alone And it was extremely scary and stressful. No matter how many times I declared the relationship over he wouldn’t accept no for an answer. I can say if I were to lose the love now I would be absolutely devastated and my thoughts would most likely be erratic. However living through this on different occasions I can confidently say my mind would be a blur of irrationality but my wisdom would stop any of those thoughts from being a physical reality. Thank you for your advice and input

  3. Colleen 3 years ago

    You did NOT send the letter, yes? Guarantee had you, this nut case would’ve definitely reacted – and NOT in a good way. We must be very careful about using logic and reason when speaking to unstable people. They consider it an attack. This woman clearly doesn’t care what you think or feel anyway. It’s best not to taunt her by waving your happiness in her face.

    Please do insist that your man go to court and get a restraining order. Personally, I don’t understand why he hasn’t long ago.
    I’m curious what could possibly be his reason for letting it go this far. If I were in your situation, I’d sure need to know. It’s not your problem to fix, handle, or have to deal with – it’s his.

    • S 3 years ago

      No I didn’t send it Colleen. I just needed to get it off my chest. He did try to get a restraining order and still tries. Has payed a huge amount of money to get her served and even had her notice published in the paper. She dodges the servers and so court keeps getting postponed. Meanwhile the Saga continues….

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