J

LTME postHey. I know it’s been a minute since we talked last, and you don’t answer my texts so I figured instead of burdening you with a message, I’d just write you this letter.

I don’t know where to start. I met you almost 2 years ago, and I was completely devastated when I found out that you had a boyfriend. Still though, you befriended me and we became best friends. We lost contact for a little while, but it didn’t do anything to our friendship but bring us closer. Anyway, you and your boyfriend broke up and I knew it was my shot. For some reason, you saw something in me and we were so in love. It was the best year of my life. You changed something in me, and you brought good to my life that I’d never experienced before.

But then in April, I screwed up miserably. I messed it up so badly, and you still forgave me. You forgave me, but you forgave to move on.. Not to try to fix things. I don’t blame you at all. I treated you like shit towards the end and we both know that you deserve so much better than that. I told you that I could be better, that I could change, but you never heard me out. Probably because my dumbass attempts to make you jealous so I could get you back proved that I hadn’t changed.

I’m different now. Even though it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, or even talked, I still think about you every second of the day. I wake up every morning feeling frustrated that I can’t get you off my mind when I’m the last thing on yours. There’s times when I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel like I still have you, then I realize you’re gone. I know you won’t come back, but I’ll never stop hoping that you do. I don’t remember our fights, or the bad times we had. I just remember the best parts of our relationship. I think about your smile. I think about when I carried you around at the track meet. I think about your laugh. I just think about you. You’re so good.

You may hate me now, and if you do, I couldn’t blame you. I have your forgiveness, now I just need to work on forgiving myself for doing this to the both of us.

I love you, and I miss you. You’ll always be on my mind, and I hope you read this. Text me or call me if you want. I hope you know that you can always come to me with anything you may be going through. Above all, I hope you find happiness in whatever you’re doing. I hope your summer’s been amazing.

I hope we talk soon.

-DMM

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