Sometimes you can think about a series of memories with someone over and over to the point where you think there’s nothing left to overanalyze. But the more you think about everything and the things they said to you the more questions seem to be unanswered. That’s what I’ve done with you.

Whenever we fight this was a routine for you. It’s routine at this point. You say or do something horrible, I get upset, you push me away, you shut me out when I try to make amends, we spend months not speaking until I get a text from you asking to meet up. My biggest flaw is forgiving too easy. I would meet up with you every time. That’s just how we operate.

Right now we are at ignoring stage. This being the third time it should really not come as a surprise that we’re right back in this place. Just when I thought we could finally be friends, put everything behind us, and live with a sense of peace with each other before you move across the country you pulled a classic “you move” and the only way you deal with conflict is by ignoring me. All I can think of is “Great, here we go again.” But the more I thought about all those memories that I constantly overthink, I decided that this time it’s going to be different. With that being said, I’m finally putting an end to this constant cycle that I get sucked into so easily. The last thing I have left to say to you are these two words…

Thank you.

I imagine myself being with someone who makes my stomach sink into knots when I see them. Sinking because the amounts of butterflies in my stomach are too heavy to hold.

I imagine that this person will make me cry. Cry because of the joy of the simple things he would do just to put a smile on my face.

I imagine that this person will make me upset. Upset because we have to spend time apart because of a business trip so we would miss out on our weekly Netflix and cuddling night.

I imagine this person will make me yell at him. Yelling because he stole the last piece of pizza that we shared and he thinks it’s cute when I get mad about my love for pizza.

I imagine storming out on this person. Storming out because were playing a Nerf battle around the house and I’m not good at losing so naturally I need to run for my life.

You made my stomach sink, you made me cry, you made me yell, you made me upset and I stormed out on you in all the wrong ways. I know there is good in you. But when I spend time with you and the bad started to outweigh the good, I started to realize that there is no hope in you becoming the man I wanted you to be.

So I thank you. Thank you for possessing every wrong quality that I do not want in a man. A man that will tell me he is the luckiest man in the world because he gets to share his world with me. So, thank you.