Numb and Dreaming

Numb and Dreaming

Numb and Dreaming

LTME postI dreamt about you last night. You’ve been in my dreams a lot the last few months, though you only made your first appearance just as long ago.
It’s slowly getting easier to go on without you, but it’s taken a very long time to get to this point. It hasn’t been without it’s fair share of pains and losses. I no longer speak to a lot of people. No longer consider them friends. No longer want them in my life.
There is so much I could say, as I have a history of vocalizing my thoughts, but I will refrain from lengthy diatribe, as it no longer suits me.
Perhaps, if your wish was to break me, you’ve succeeded. However, there is no fixing the damage done; there is no fixing me. If anything, your cruelest words are now my shield, and words meant to draw shame or guilt no longer affect me. Nothing will take this from me. There is nothing left in me for anyone to touch.
It is more than apathy; deeper than feigned indifference. I still care about people and things, but there’s a wall between my perception.
You will be fine, as you have been. You will have a wonderful life, and all your dreams will be made true, and that’s good. You will fade from my memory, as I from yours, as it should be.
I’ve changed so much in the last year and some months, as have you.
I hope the days that make you cry from sorrow are few and far between. I wish no pain or hardship upon you; now or years from now. Find happiness in everything you do.

Take care, C.

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