Hey Babe,

It’s taking everything in me not to call you right now. Or at least send you a text. I’m so proud of you superstar. You scored against them again!!! I just know in my heart that you’re going to play pro. You are going places, big bright places!!! I just wish more than anything that I could of gone with you. It breaks my heart that we are not meant to be together. You are my first everything. And I truly mean everything. Our first kiss was the best first kiss I’ll ever have. It was truly fireworks and so intense I can still feel the butterflies. Sex literally meant nothing until you. You know me better than anyone in so many ways. You can literally rock my world any day, I am so attracted to you. I wish more than anything that you can learn to love yourself. You are so beautiful baby. Your eyes are so big and warm. They make me feel beautiful… when you look at me I feel like the only person in the world, like all you need is me. From your cute nose to your soft lips that I could kiss forever, to your sexy tattoos, to your legs that I just want wrapped around me, to your neck that I just want to bite, and so much more…. You overwhelm me in the best way possible; you excite me to no end. I completely treasure every moment I was with you. Every memory means so much. I know we both made mistakes and I’m so tired of dwelling on them. In the end I think they contributed to our demise, they were just signs of immaturity and us letting stupid pride and low self-esteem to get the better of us. I guess its our Taurus way…

I hope you are okay. I pray for you, and think of you way more often than I’d care to admit let alone be able to actually count. Let’s just say you’re pretty much always on my mind. I know you find it hard to get close to people, and you don’t understand when they don’t fight to break down your walls like I have. You’re a tough cookie babe, you have to remember people can be selfish, including myself and you. Our selfishness also hurt our relationship in the long run. You selfishly wanting all of me, forgetting that I need my friends and family too. Me for not giving you more attention in the right ways, not being honest more, and for not creating boundaries when I should have. I also wish I stood up for you more, and for that I’m sorry.

This relationship was a first for both of us and we both have a lot to learn from it. If you let your guard down a bit and just opened your heart to love I think you’d be surprised by just how many people are going to flock to your big precious heart. You are so amazing, you’re just a little rough around the edges, remember it took me a whole year and moving in with you to realize that you were the love of my life. Then another whole year to realize that again stupid timing is everything and we still have a ways to grow. So that’s why I left, so that we can grow first. I will not come back until I know I’m ready for us. Hopefully you will have grown too and the piece of my heart I’m leaving with you will still mean something.

Until then, I hope you can forgive me for leaving. It’s for the best and the only way I think we can work out in the end. It’s like that saying… “If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back to you, then its yours.” I think we both need to let each other go and if its truly meant to be, we’ll find each other again. If not, well you are my first everything, as far as I am concerned, since the day of our first kiss my slate was wiped clean. No one before that means anything, you are my one and only. Even if I meet someone, or you move on and let me go, you will always have a piece of me. Just say the word and I’ll be there. At least after I unblock you in a few months, it’s the only way I can keep my distance. If I could handle talking to you and not being together I would, but it’s too hard right now. My heart is aching for you so please forgive me this last selfish act. I do it in hopes we have a future together. Until we can kiss again my babe…

Love you always and forever

A