I single handedly ripped our relationship into shreds

I single handedly ripped our relationship into shreds

I single handedly ripped our relationship into shreds

LTME postMorgan,

Some time has passed and even though you’ve moved on and I have to I find my thoughts start to go back to the time I spent with you. Even though we were only together a short time I don’t think I loved anyone more then the way I loved you. You saw me in a light I couldn’t see myself. You put me on a pedestal that I didn’t feel I deserved. It got harder to look at you, harder to kiss you, harder to feel worthy. You felt me growing further and further away and I saw the pain in your eyes and it made me feel even less worthy than I already felt! I remember that night. The night I walked away and I remember you asking me not to go. I can still hear you… “What did I do wrong?” I left you like that I left you thinking that you were too blame when in reality it was my own stupid ego. My own stupid pride. I found someone so perfect and I was so scared of it, so convinced that you would find better that I single handedly ripped our relationship into shreds. I didn’t see what you see. You would tell me how amazing I was and I would drown myself in guilt because I felt like I was holding you down, I felt as if I was keeping you from someone who could give you the world I couldn’t. I now realize that none of it matters. All you wanted was my love and instead I left you. I left you thinking you had failed when in reality I had. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to call or text you just to put my phone down and drown my tears in a bottle of whiskey. If you ever read this I want you to know that it wasn’t you. It was never you. You were perfect. The love you had for me, the way you lifted me up when I needed lifting, the kisses after work after a long day, the way you would laugh at my stupid jokes. You were perfect. Too perfect for me. I wish u could’ve seen myself the way you see me maybe then I would’ve been able to love you the way you deserved to be loved. I’m sorry for the endless nights of breakdowns that I caused you. I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to change your whole school schedule just because you couldn’t look at me. I want you to know that it killed me too. I felt like the biggest dick in the world and don’t think I got away with it. My friends, my family, the whole team made sure to let me know that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. And I did. I’m writing you now because I saw your wedding announcement on our class reunion page. I want you to know how happy I am for you. I hope he loves you in ways I could never show you. I hope he wakes you up every morning and tells you he’s lucky everyday. I hope he never lets you go because if he ever does he will feel the way I do. I loved you then I love you still.

-Matt

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