Blank Christmas

Blank Christmas

Blank Christmas

LTME postDear J
We went out for over a year and a half and you broke up with me, you came back in my life a month later and I took you back with loving arms. We grew in our lustful physicality but that was it, we were both tearing away emotionally. You tried breaking up with me during the summer and I begged you not to leave and you didn’t but I sensed a great deal of anxiety from you. You were just in it for the sake of being in a relationship and it was eating me away. I didn’t want to lose you but you didn’t seem interested anymore. You were my first real girlfriend and I treated you like a queen but I was just another play thing for you. The countless nights I went to sleep crying because of you and the times my heart, mind, and stomach ached because you just didn’t care if you ignored me for countless hours while you went out with your “bro’s”. It hurt me to find out that you cheated on me, but what more could I expect from you. You’re so beautiful but you like to think that just because of your attractive qualities everyone will forgive you for your less attractive ones, even when you least deserved forgiveness (especially from me). So when I finally decided to accept the fact that we should break up for real it pained me so much. But you were more than eager to oblige. I don’t know what you’re up to these days. I’ve seen recent pictures of you and my heart flutters but then cracks because I still find you so attractive but the memories of pain still sting, like when you yelled at me in front of adults, my parents, friends, etc. You talked badly about me to your friends and switched up stories. You tried lying about the truth of some of your friendships with certain guys and how it was more than that. Everytime you flirted with other guys and acted like it was nothing hurt me more than anything and you’d get mad at me for trying to open my mouth and say something about it, till the point where you ignored me for 3 days. I try to avoid seeing you as much as I can. First love indeed does hurt. I wish you the best. I wish myself the same and maybe even more.

Sincerely,
J

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