Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

LTME postMs. J. Boatz,

I wish you the best of luck. You hurt me a lot never giving me a chance to try to fix anything. You have a severe mental disorder and need help, and I am not the person to help you with. I’ve been contemplating suicide and I think I just may do it tomorrow night. I’m sorrh you thought I was so bad when I gave you the world. Good luck. Hopefully you actually find someone who cares about you as much I as did.

5 Comments

  1. StellaBlue 1 year ago

    Hello KC, I’m sorry what happened between you and Ms. J Boatz. I know you miss Ms. J Boatz very much. I know you’re hurt. I know it is agony.
    I am very sad about a breakup that happened in Sept 2015. There are bad days, worse days, and numb days.
    Please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention LIFELINE
    Google and watch Teal Swan video on YouTube titled I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal)
    I am getting some relief watching Noah Elkrief videos (on youtube), too.

  2. Brie 1 year ago

    There are going to be times in our lives where the pain, confusion, and frustration regarding situations and experiences are going to feel overwhelming. It’s normal. It’s normal to feel alone after a break up. As though you failed in some way. That the other person that you considered a partner may have not seen something special in you. That you weren’t worthy of being loved or chosen to be fought for. I know. I know all this. But, I promise it gets easier. Not because you forget or because it doesn’t bother you. But because over time you open yourself back up to the idea of loving and being loved. Someone new brings about those butterflies and excitement all over again. And once again, you are taking a risk. A really fun and beautiful risk. But you are wiser, and far more confident because of the “failed relationships” of our pasts.

    Your life and happiness is controlled by one person; you. Invest in yourself. Love yourself. Never allow anyone to have so much control over how you perceive yourself. Your life is valuable. Not because someone else tells you this. But because it’s yours.

    I don’t know you. But I know what it’s like to never truly get answers or understand how you can do many things right and still end up heartbroken. And I promise that it gets better, if you work on the most important relationship to us all; the one with ourselves.

    Please comment so I know you are alright. Your ex may not care, but I do.

    – Brie

  3. ideas 1 year ago

    Hi KC,

    I understand the hurt you are going through, I’ve been through it myself. Want to know something cool? With everyday that passes by, the pain goes away and happiness takes its place. You will get to that point KC, I know you will, I’m rooting for you :).

  4. gElo 1 year ago

    i feel so paralysed…every night i remember how alone i am without him…i think of how everything in my life had 2 do with him..i loved him…i still do..and what breaks me is how he could let something so beautiful go?…were did i go wrong?..i sit and hope he’l come to his senses but then i realise how real this is…waking up hurts a day is a decade 2 me and through all of this all that i wonder is…if he even 4 split second think of me..

    • StellaBlue 1 year ago

      gElo, you describe my life. At this point I’m just going through the motions of each day as best I can. Pain, Anger, Hurt, Numb, Regret, Devastation, Denial. I listen to a lot of Noah Elkrief videos on YouTube. When I actually sit and meditate on the questions Noah poses, I get small glimpses of something like “peace” although it feels more like a great big “Argh, Fuck It. Fuck It All.” A Resignation Bomb blowing up my own Camp Ego of “I cannot believe he dumped me.” Waking up is awful (Mornings, Mid-Day from naps, or in the middle of the nights). The surfacing to consciousness, the realization AGAIN that it’s over. I’m banished. We’re apart. I live for seeing him in my dreams. It’s not real, and it’s so fragile, but it’s some sort of contact. Sometimes in the dreams we touch, or kiss, or even have sex. But one night he yelled at me to get out of his house. It’s a crap shoot what I’ll get, but something is better than the Nothing Each Day that is my life now without him and his being. I miss him. I wish he would take me back.

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