You cut and run before even trying to fix anything

You cut and run before even trying to fix anything

You cut and run before even trying to fix anything

LTME postDear W,

What the f*** were you thinking? Cutting and running after only 6 weeks living together was cruel, unnecessary and hurtful. I deserved better. I am not [your ex]. I did not cheat on you or abuse you. I was a bloody good partner. I did so much for you.

When I wrote the first draft of my goodbye email to you- it focused on what I did wrong. I spent hours dredging up my every fault. But then I realised that my offenses were so low level that they’d be found in any relationship. S*** like bad communication and defensiveness. Initially I blamed myself. I know I can do better.

But you cut and run before even trying to fix anything. You refused point blank for us to get help from a therapist. You told me you would not compromise- about what I don’t know. Your vain reply was that you had “tried to stay in the relationship” without ever saying what you did to try. You actually just got up and left, without any thought to the man you said you loved just the day before. F*** you.

In doing so, you devalued me to nothing. I am way better than that. I deserve so much more in reply to my generosity and encouragement of you and [your son]. I am a decent human being who was pushed to his limits by your cruelty, and your undermining, passive aggressive attacks and unwillingness to meet me in the middle. I did get angry and I let you see it. Thank God I am not angry anymore. I now know you didn’t care for me enough.

I realise now that I must have become your house b****. Despite working on the biggest business transactions of my life, I still did most of the cooking, all of the cleaning and all of the gardening. I picked up [your son] and I picked up after [your son]. When you had work issues, I was there to back you 100%. When I needed support to fly somewhere early in the day, you just said that you couldn’t drop [my son] at school because of your work. You never reflected on all the times I turned up early to pick up [your son]. You couldn’t give me and [my son] 30 minutes of your work day just one time!

You got angry when I couldn’t sleep but you never showed any care about why. You are a doctor for God’s sake- you could have helped me sleep when I needed it. You folded your washing but not mine even though I had put it all in the washer and then on the washing line. You focused on yourself in our little house. I was just a prop I guess.

You then froze me out. You cut and run. You never said why- other than some minor BS reason about parenting styles and not feeling cuddled enough. I was sentenced without trial. I realise now that I don’t know this cold, heartless you. You hid it well babe. I am better off out of this toxicity. So is [my son]. He wonders what kind of person you are- to up and leave like that. I wonder too.

Despite all this, I don’t hate you. I’m not angry with you. I feel sorry for you. One day you’ll know that I was a bloody good man who once loved you completely. You’ll know that you broke my heart and that you did so recklessly. You’ll bear the consequences of your decision. By then- I’ll be happy again and in the arms of a much more suitable woman who appreciates me for all my good bits and all my flaws. I hope you meet someone more suitable than me- and if you do, you treat him better than I got.

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