Dear Cocoy, it really is painful.

Dear Cocoy, it really is painful.

Dear Cocoy, it really is painful.

LTME-postDear Cocoy,

It’s been a while since I last wrote a letter to you. I want to get all creative just like before to make you remember how we were, but a letter is all I could create at the moment. I’ve always thought we are inseparable. That I have been planning our whole lives together. Do you remember the time when we spend the nights holding hands and just looking up at the sky in Galicia St., even though there are clearly no stars visible in Manila. Remember how our eyes sparkle when we say our I love you’s to each other. The time when we agreed to spell I love you as “Iloveyou” because you said that our love is too much for it to have space between I love you. How time is not a limiting factor when we’re together but only a mere number that we effortlessly ignore. Now we barely have time for us. Our lives have been intertwined with life that we lazily drifted from each other.
It really pains me to think that the love we used to have is slowly fading through time. I wish I could tell you that I still love you the same, I hope you too could tell me that. But everything’s different now. I know we both have our shortcomings. I have drifted away myself but now I’m back, back for good. I hope you could still see the thread that is holding us together, I hope you could still touch it and pull it and climb your way back to me. If not, then I don’t know. I don’t want to be friends, I don’t want to stay in touch just because we care for each other, just because we shared a past together. I want to be in touch because you still hold me in your heart, because I still hold you in mine. I love you with all my will, with all my might, with all that I am. And if I could only do so much to get you back. To get Ba and Yat together. Is there a Ba and Yat? Would you like “we” better than “you”? Because I sure know what I want.

I will be here, just waiting for you. And if one day you turn to me and tell me that you want out then I have to respect that. Though I’m not so sure if I could accept that.

Please tell me that things will be fine and that things will go back to just the way they were. Iloveyou with all of me. I hope you still feel the same.

Anette

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