To Kiki

LTME-postI don’t even know where to begin, we were both so young when we got together that after a while I felt like I needed to “see what’s out there”. The problem is that I’ve now realised what’s out there will never be as perfect for me as you were, I was so young and stupid, full of my own self importance, you were my everything and I still let you go. The hardest part is knowing that even if somebody had told me all of this back then I would have laughed at them, some morons just need to learn things the hard way, and I now realise this is the hardest way I’ve ever learnt anything.

However If by some chance you stumble across this one day please know that You’re everything I ever needed, you are the most insanely loving person I have ever met, you gave me everything and in return I threw it all in your face and I’ll never forgive myself, we had it all and I was too blind to see it, I was young and arrogant, I thought I could find something better… I suppose heartbreak brings wisdom like nothing else can.

The day you stood by your car, suitcases packed, tears running down your face and asked me if I had anything to say will haunt me until my dying day, I said goodbye, like a fucking idiot!

I should’ve got down on my knees and begged you to stay, I should’ve given you the love you gave me, I should’ve taken you in my arms and shown you the love I now know was so real.

You’ve moved on now, I know I shouldn’t but sometimes I look you up on Facebook, it’s probably the worst thing I could do, you look so happy with him. I’m not mad at anybody but myself however, I just hope he treats you the way I should have, you deserve all the happiness in the world and then some.

I’m so sorry, yours forever, bobi.

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