It’s been since Father’s Day of this year (2016) since we broke up and I still think about you every single day. You were my everything all in one. You were my best friend, my snuggle buddy, my person I would stay up late talking to on school nights just because we couldn’t get enough of each other, and most importantly, my boyfriend. You were the only person I could trust. Nobody mattered but you. I just wish you felt the same way about me because maybe, just maybe we could still be together.

The night we broke up, I felt nothing but the sadness beating through my heart in my chest. All i could think about was what I did that was so wrong for you to end everything with me after we were together for so long. I loved you so much, and I thought you loved me too. Now I’m left 2 hours away from you still trying to get over you, and you are doing fine. I’ve made new friends here and they know about you. They know how much I loved you, and they know about our fights. They know everything. I finally feel like I belong here with my dad, but it’s still just not the same without you. I don’t understand why it’s taking me so long to get you out of my head because I’m sure I’m out of yours.

From our fights that lasted until 2 in the morning to the first time you told me you loved me, I remember every moment of it. I would’t change a thing, but I do admit that if I could change one thing I would go back in time and make it right with you. I know it’s wrong but I would give anything to have you back in my arms.

I still remember everything about you. How you like your coffee without sugar or creamer and you drink it every morning before school while you’re speeding because you woke up late, how you loved politics and you felt so strong about them but I never cared and I wish I would’ve, how you loved to debate things, how you would hold me tight and give me that look when you knew I was having a bad day, and so much more. I will never forget any of it and I’m sorry I took those things for granted.

I still hope the best for you. I hope you have a good senior year, a good graduation day, and most of all I hope you get the dream job you’ve always wanted. I never got to find out exactly what you want to do and where you want to go to college for sure, but I hope you have it figured out so you can finally stop worrying about it because I know how bad it stressed you out. I still think your mom is a saint and I still love your family. They all welcomed me so nicely and it felt good. I’ll never forget those days that I showed up at your house and your dad was in his underwear and your mom couldn’t say anything but laugh.

We had a lot of laughs and a lot of cries together and that is something I will never remember. But then again, how could I forget? We were together for a little over a year.

There are so many more things I could say but it’s just way too much to type. Just know that I loved you so much that every time I looked at you I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach, even after a year. You were my world and there will always be a piece of you in my heart. Thank you for everything you taught me during our relationship. Thank you for caring about me, at least for some of our relationship. I just don’t know what to think about how you actually felt about me anymore.

I doubt you’ll ever read this, but if you ever do come across this, you should know who I am. Here’s a hint: Vern. Now you should definitely know. I’m sorry for everything I put you through and I hope you can forgive me.

So I guess that’s all I have left to say and I hope you find someone who treats you good, and I hope to God that you treat her good too. You have to listen to her and you can’t hurt her like you hurt me, okay?

Sincerely, H.