My first love

My first love

My first love

LTME-postDear my ex,
I hope you are well. Now, tomorrow and forever. I never thought I would be one of these people who can’t quite get over their ex. You were my first love. And I will always have unconditional love towards you. We didn’t split in quite the way I wanted. I had hoped if we ever split (I never wanted too) we would be friends after. I miss you. You’re family, your presence, everything. I hope you know that you took my heart and ripped it into a million pieces and I am still recovering. I will forever be recovering. I have a new boyfriend and I love him and I am happy. I just needed to get some things off my chest. Seeing you everyday is hard for me. Not running up to you is hard. It’s all hard. When we split you said some unbelievable things to me. I don’t think you meant them and it was spur of the moment. The time we spent together wasn’t a waste of time and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I didn’t fuck it up. I said something that you interpreted wrong. I begged for a second chance that you wouldn’t give. That night was one of the worst. Laying on the floor of my shower just bawling my eyes out with “different for girls” by Dierks Bentley. Just wondering what I did wrong when in reality I did nothing. I opened up and you reacted in a way I didn’t think was possible. You hurt me deeply. The next day I was numb. Everyone’s questions were hard to answer but I just put on a brave face and lied. A soon as I got home that mask came off. Back to crying on the bathroom floor. I thought a hook up would help. It didn’t. I didn’t hook up with him. I just talked about it and when he asked if he should buy condoms I had a panic attack. I only wanted to feel that with you! Weeks following were terrible and seeing you that night at 6 flags was like a punch in the face. I love you. Always have. Always will and seeing you with someone else is terrible and I imagine it is the same for you. I hope you are happy and I hope you treat her better. I hope you’re family treates her like they treated me, with unconditional love. I hope one day we will become friends again. Goodbye.

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