I’m still torn up over it

I’m still torn up over it

I’m still torn up over it

LTME-postHey. I never thought I’d see the day I would admit this, but I think I still have feelings for you. I know I’m still heartbroken. I miss you like hell. It’s been nearly a year since we broke up, but I’m still torn up over it. You were my everything. You were the first person I ever loved. You were my first kiss. You made me a better person. You were also the first person to truly break my heart.
I’ve been a wreck for the last year. I cried for a solid week. I binged on so much food. I went on a bingeing and starving cycle for months because I hated life without you. I struggled with my demons, but you kept them at bay. I’m writing this in tears because I am reliving old memories. All those old pictures that won’t come off of my phone are used as torture to instantly induce tears. I know there is no possible way for you to feel the same. You’ve dated other people and you have your own problems with them. I’ve been heartbroken and hardly able to manage. When I kissed that girl after we broke up, you said i had moved on. I only faked moving on because days after we broke up, you had a new girlfriend. I wanted to die. I still do. I really do right now. I started getting destructive again, even though you said you would kill me if I did. I’ve had a rough year, and I’m sorry for disappointing you. I was the worst partner for you. I love you (I think) and I want the best for you. I’ll just try my hardest to get over you, but it’s difficult when everyone keeps reopening the wound. Have fun without me.

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