To the love of my life,

Its been almost a year and I still lose sleep thinking of you. Minutes and hours thinking of you. Of your face, your smell, your voice.
I’m starting to believe i’ll never move on. Which is how i know its time to say goodbye. As painful as that seems.
The day we met is a day burned into my mind, the day we got married is a day no one can take away from me. Not you, not her, not anybody. Those memories are mine, and yours to keep for as long as we wish. I’ll never understand how it was so easy for you to leave me, but for the first time since you left I no longer feel the need to understand. I know it was never about me, it was all about you.

Its hard to picture my future without you, as I have spent many years planning it around you, with you, for you. You were, and honestly, still are the center of my world. I place you before everyone else, including myself. Which i am learning is too self destructive to carry on doing.

I will cherish the memories you gave me, the way you changed me while we were together and the way I have changed since you left. I have a lot of reasons to be angry with you, but i also have a lot to thank you for. You left me, broke me down to almost nothing, and i have never been more grateful. This last year has allowed me to build myself up again, into someone better, stronger and more appreciative of the world than ever before.
I only wish you could meet this new me, without the past to cloud your view of me.

I could go on and talk about how loved you are by me, but that’s not what i need to say, and truthfully I believe you already know.

This letter is my goodbye. Goodbye to you, to us and our future, to the version of myself that i was when we were together. I hope that one day we will meet and i will be different and so will you. Maybe then we will be good for each other. Maybe then we’ll get all the things we talked about, so long ago.

Until then, know that i miss you everyday and every night.