Heartbroken

Heartbroken

Heartbroken

LTME-postDear ex,
I am sorry. I don’t know why you broke up with me but I want to apologize if I did something. I miss you, and I still love you. Why did you break up with me? It has been 7 weeks and 1 day since you broke up with me. I remember the exact time 3:13pm. I remember the exact date too, so as you see ( I am not totally over you). I don’t understand why breakups are so hard. Is it because while one person falls in love every day the other falls out? Is this punishment? You have hurt me so much. You can’t even look me in the eye. I don’t know why but my mind keeps coming back to you. I am so depressed and confused. Are breakups meant for us to wake up and not make up? I find it so hard to move on because you were a big part of my life. I have known you since first grade. We went from strangers to best friends then to dating in true love. You haven’t spoken a word to me since that day. It hurts to hear your voice, it hurts to be around you, it even hurts to have to look at you every day. My laughs and smiles are just ways to cover up what I am really feeling. It covers up my broken heart. I don’t know why I can still love you with all of my broken pieces. The heart you broke. How do you mend a broken heart? All the questions I ask myself keep me up all through the night. People tell me to be strong. I can’t because I have been hurt so bad. People keep telling me to let him go and to move on. Why am I the one to find it so difficult? It isn’t the end of the world but I want to know when or if I will get over this. I still have feelings for you.You have brought me so much joy in my life and I am so thankful for that. I easily forgive which is a problem but I have to be strong to prove I can live without you, even if I am pretending to be fine. I love you. That may be the last time you hear those words from me, so cherish them. If you ever do read this just know that you were the one who walked out on me. You were the one to let me go, to leave me when I needed you the most, to leave when we could have talked it out. I chose to stay and be the support. What happens when you are balancing on one leg? Most of the time you fall. That is what happened to our relationship. Remember the good times we had but I am done, for now goodbye.

Love
-Amber xoxo

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