I know Valentine’s Day and being single is not a great combo, and if you’re in that boat you have my sympathy. That said, I’m all about the silver linings and one very big one is that you don’t have to worry about getting a crap present you have to pretend to like.
The struggle is real, people.
For example, my ex was the MASTER of bad gifts. Every Valentine’s Day, birthday or Christmas he just came up with shockers that made me think WELL HE REALLY DIDNT THINK THAT ONE THROUGH and WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING DATING THIS PERSON.
I had a lot of conversations in caps, in my head, during that relationship.
So yeah, one Valentine’s Day, he really outdid himself presenting me with… wait for it… a laminator.
Not even kidding.
I mean, laminators are great and all. Handy. Good for… laminating shit. I still use it. I’m sure he assumed he was thinking ahead and it was a great present for a creative person. And maybe there are people out there who would LOVE to receive a laminator. But for Valentine’s Day? To someone you supposedly love and desire and cherish? FFS.
I’m not alone. A new poll from a UK jewellery company found that 56 percent of women have been disappointed by a Valentine’s Day gift, compared with 25 percent of men.
Some of the gifts the women polled had received included an ironing board cover, a wheelbarrow, a screwdriver set, a plastic sheep, a can of baked beans and, believe it or not, A SINGLE TEA BAG.
But that’s not all. One woman even received a sausage roll, while another said she was given a LIVE TARANTULA as a Valentine’s Day gift.
And really, there needs to be some serious lifting of one’s game if you think a live spider is a good present… for anyone.
What’s the worst gift an ex has ever given you? Feel free to share your outrage in the comments.