Everything I’m afraid to say

Everything I’m afraid to say

Everything I’m afraid to say

LTME-postWell here I am, I’m not writing this for you but for me, to let go some of all the pressure I’m feeling right now. First of all I still love you. Second, I hate you. So fucking much.
Why did you leave me like that? Not even whit a warning. I was so confused and heartbroken but I didn’t want to admit that I missed you because I’m always trying to play good ( but you know that more than anybody else) I tried to convince myself that I didn’t need you, that I was fine, that I totally moved on and that’s why I started other relationship, my bad.
I miss you and it feels so weird to tell and even more to write it, like that makes it more real, anyway I don’t think you will read this or come up whit this page and that’s fine for me.
I don’t know if we will ever get back together but i don’t even know if I want that. Latelly I never know what I want.
Yesterday I missed you in a fucking party, you always came to my kind in the most unwanted moments but I suppose that’s the point.
But I still love you. I love you eyes. I love the way you laugh out loud. I love your lips . I love the way you made me feel comfortable and wanted. And I don’t even want to start whit the reasons i love you because i have them always in my mimd. Lets start whit the ones i never told you: I hate the way you are over me, kissing thousands of girls and here I am writing you a letter on internet . I hate how you can’t even say hello when you see me. I hate how you don’t care about me. I hate how you don’t even think of me for a second when you’re in my mind all day long. I hate how you are my number 1, how I compare every guy I meet to you, and how I will choose you over them . I hate the fact that you are happy with how things between us ended when I’m still cryng about that. I hate how I’m thinking if I should talk to you for your birthday when you probably forget mine. I hate how I’m so heartbroken when I see you with other girls . I hate that I sound like a crazy ex. I hate how you changed me. I hate how I hate you. And finally I hate how I love you.

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