I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much you meant to me

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much you meant to me

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much you meant to me

LTME-postMy dearest Kelly I loved you more than I ever showed. You’ve always had the sweetest heart, always seeing the very best in the world. I want you to know I’m still smitten from our first kiss in the woods.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t as present as I should’ve been. I was distracted by all of life’s battles, weary of the constant fights that I never really understood what was most important of all, your love. I look back now with a clarity I never had, all spurned on after that fateful night I realised I’d lost that precious love you’d once had for me. I was shocked when you told me, but in hindsight this had been coming for quite some time. The little touches over a dinner table, the warm hugs you’d give, the gentle caresses in bed as we tangled in our lover’s embrace. The look you had only to me, that told me with only your eyes how much you felt for me in your heart. They all gave way over time, as seemlessly as day turns into night. I thought I knew you so well, but I never recognised the sadness in your heart when I disappointed you time and again. I wasn’t there for you at family and friend’s gatherings. I never introduced you to my parents. I wanted to show you off to the world. Why didn’t I? It feels like our relationship was a lost chapter in my life.
You want to be friends, but I know you’re being polite. You’ve always been so polite. I hurt you too much and I promised you I wouldn’t make this hard for you. I won’t beg you to take me back. I respect you too much. I’ve always said you’re very considered. We always joked how long it would take you to order food, so I know you didn’t come to this decision lightly. I also know you have no regrets about our break up, and whilst that breaks my heart, I should be happy you’ve moved on. I can’t bear the thought of you with someone else. And whilst I do want you to be happy one day I’m going to be a little bit selfish and say, not today. But of course I’ll never tell you that xx

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