To the most beautiful person I have ever met:
Wilson, everything from your smile that lights up any room, to your deep eyes, to your gorgeous heart, you are beautiful.
You have taken so many ugly parts of me and shown me how to make them amazing. I have opened my eyes for the first time when we made love. We made love to each other.
I cannot fathom how it would be to make love to someone else, but thanks to you I know that I won’t ever settle for anything less, and I know that I won’t find that anytime soon. In fact, I don’t think I’ll stop loving you. I won’t ever stop loving the Wilson that loved me.
However, I am aware that you don’t exist anymore. Not that version of you.
And what does it say about me that the most beautiful person in the world, my new dream, my ocean doesn’t love me back anymore? What does it say about me that the one person I most love in life doesn’t love me back?
You used to tell me that I was the love of your life. You said this two weeks before telling me that you don’t love me anymore. How can I believe that anything you said was true? Did you ever truly love me? Was I really as important to you as you said I was?
The physical distance between us at first seemed like a passable obstacle. When did it become an insurmountable barrier? When did I become unimportant enough to not even try?
I hope you are doing well. I see pictures of you doing well because I still can’t take you off my social media, and I hope that you can fulfill your dreams even when I am not part of them. The latter part hurts, it hurts more than anything else, but if that is what makes you happy then so be it.
We have always been two separate people that like to share our lives. I think that you felt too much pressure. You didn’t feel like your own person anymore but that was not my fault. It wasn’t really yours either. Most of this was probably just us not being on the same track. This isn’t our time anymore. But I can’t stop hoping that one day, maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, it will be the right time. One day, our tracks will converge again. Maybe that time it will be for good.
I hope that you can always see how beautiful you are, even if you don’t have me there to remind you.
You are beautiful,