What if…!!!!

What if…!!!!

What if…!!!!

LTME-postWhat if I had just trusted you since the beginning??? Maybe things would be different between us. I think the lost of patience and the fear of being heartbroken again destroyed our relationship from my side….I know you don’t understand and will never understand how much I put my dreams on you…..I loved the fact of being from different countries…different languages….your height..your teeth…..and your hugs …..i really loved you and I still do…A LOT….and I am mad for that……Deep inside my heart I know i was not the only one who failed…I just wanted to get those flowers….those trips together……without me telling you…….Maybe i didn’t see what you were giving but I tried..you know i did and it hurts me so much that you just left me like that in another country…..with no family…….heartbroken and moved on with your life like I was another woman more……do you even understand how painful it has been for me these weeks???? I came here to build something with you…I travel days for you……I know it was my decision and maybe my fault for looking a father in you more than a couple….but for sure in these months together i fell in love with you……..I shouldn’t have told you how much i loved u……..i should have listened to my guts when they told me to take the relationship easy……..i should have become the woman a want instead of becoming the woman you wanted…………All i have now is unsolved questions……………i know u tried to make me happy..but just on happy moments………..are the worst the ones i really needed you to kiss me and hug me until i got stable…………..I am like these…….you know i have not an easy mind……….i ask too much……i write too much……i dream too much……..but i love to much as well…….I know you don’t feel the same way..because you are not a deep lover……..but i know you have your heart and i hope one day i could just remember that heart with a smile of my face………i miss you…..i love you…..but maybe in other life we will understand ourselves.

I can’t wish u happiness now…..I am not ready..it would be a lie…and we both know i wasn’t born to pretend what i can feel……

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