Dear Whom It May Concern,
Heartbreak is the nearest thing to death, only we the heart broken can say that. You may ask yourself daily questions; am I normal for not being over my first love (even after two years of being apart) or why don’t they care for me still, or the worse…do they think about me still? Heartbreak is not easy, no one ever said it was and if they did they never lost someone they truly cared or loved for with every inch of there body.
As for me, just another heart broken girl, I still wonder what he is up to. I wonder everyday how he is fixing his golden brown hair or what goofy assessory he’s wearing today. I don’t have that insight, I have no knowledge if he’s even okay or what’s running through that beautiful mind. I have nothing left of him. All I have is the heartache and broken feeling of him not being around. He was the one thing that kept me whole, now there’s heartbreak and misery. Misery strikes as the memories replay in my mind on a constant cycle. Our memories just haunt in the dead of night and heap of day. That feeling of wanting to hold on to see if they comeback or the idea of moving on and accepting the fact they aren’t coming back hurts like a firey stone in my heart.
You never wanted to lose them, but you seem like you’re losing yourself. You’re not the person you once were and everyone noticed. Never in your wildest dreams thought he or she would up and leave your life forever, only now and then small talk if you are lucky. You look forward to every time it occurs. These conversations make you hold on tighter and you may think more into the future if you guys work out, but you and I both know it doesn’t make it that far. He will always be there and you will be here.
Love has a funny spell it does to any person. One day it just hits you like a truck out of nowhere. Some days you wish that truck never touched you, but then you would be stuck without cherishable memories of the past between the loved one. Everything may feel numb, but that is pain trying to healing your broken heart back into one. Those open holes in your heart is where your first may be cared forever, they might not know it but deep down you know you’ll love them forever.
P.S. Z, I wish you knew this and I miss you.