Can’t change things now

Can’t change things now

Can’t change things now

LTME-postDear Nayeli, it’s been a little over a year now, I still remember the day when I asked you to be my girlfriend I was going to meet up with you after work and then I got lost and ended up crashing. Then you came to the rescue with your mom and it was really not the best way to make a first impression. Regardless, we went back to your house and when we where alone and talking I managed to ask you out somehow. Right after you said yes I went in and we kissed for the first time. I can’t even describe how it felt, it was simply the beginning of something new in my life. There was only a few days that we were together, mostly at work, before I left back to college. Looking back now, i wish I would’ve stayed. I don’t know if that led to the breakup, but oh well I can’t change it now. I remember I drove 6 hours on a weekend just so I can see you again. It was the first weekend since I went back to college. My parents didn’t even know I drove back, overall it was really crazy. What was crazier was all the things I ever did for you. They say that when you are in love you tend to do crazy things, well looking back I would never do what I did for you to anyone else and I haven’t. After you broke up with me, it really had an impact on my life and I was really sad and all but mostly lost. We were both young and I at least knew I was in love with you, maybe you were too or maybe you weren’t. You meant everything to me. Once summertime came, I was determined to get you back, the only difference there was that I noticed it wasn’t like before, regardless I still did everything I possibly could to get you back. I remember you took me back one day after trying so much and then the next day you told me you couldn’t do it. Funny how the day you took me back after I dropped you off and I went home to sleep, the next day I woke up so energized and full of life and I remember the first thing I did was go to the mall to buy you a bracelet. I remember leaving it at work so you can see it the next morning when you went in. Even though you broke up with me I still saw you wearing it most of the summer time. Towards the end after I kept pursuing you I knew it was pretty obvious I was doing too much and you didn’t like it. Then I left to college again, this time I really shouldn’t have gone back, mainly because I had no idea what I was even doing with my life and I only wanted to leave to forget you. Well it worked and I can officially say I’m over you but there isn’t a day that goes by where I remember everything between us. Now today, about a year later since we first went out, I can clearly see that what I did and I might have come off too strong and not giving you enough space or whatever it may be. I go every day blaming myself for what happened. I always asked you why we couldn’t be together and you would never give me an answer. You could’ve told me you just didn’t like me or we aren’t meant to be or anything but you didn’t. That led me to go even more crazy for you and I was not going to give up so easily. Shortly after I left to college again, you blocked me on snapchat, which is childish if you ask me with no reason at all. I had found out that you were dating someone else and that kind of killed me mentally. I was trying so hard to chase you when you were probably in love with some other guy, and there’s nothing wrong with that, I just wish you could’ve told me the truth. Anyways, that was really painful on me, I couldn’t go to class in the stage I was in and I had gotten fired from my job due to responsibilities, I was going through a lot. I don’t blame you though, it was my fault for falling in love with you and not being able to cope with it later. If you are reading this, I just hope you know how much you meant to me. Today, I am fine and over you apart from the daily thoughts of what we were but if a day came where we were to meet again well… that’s not happening. Main point is you were my happiness in my life and I haven’t been happy since and probably never will again but it’s okay, I’m getting my life together and starting a business and one day I know that I will be successful. To end this off, I don’t want you to feel sorry or feel pity for me, I just had to get this off my chest and hopefully after this I won’t suffer as much.

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