Ex best friend and lover

Ex best friend and lover

Ex best friend and lover

LTME-postYou … broke me.. into pieces.
After being friends with you for the longest time, after all of our up and downs that I tried so hard to keep our friendship together, after all the pain I endured and tried to keep telling my heart.. no, she’s not yours.
You left me, YOU left me in the end.

Sometimes, at night when it’s 5am and I can’t sleep I always think… why … why did I put my trust on this one person, maybe it’s because we understood each other’s pain, maybe it was because I felt a deep pain for you because you couldn’t come out of your shell that was keeping you captive and I wanted to help you so badly.

Wren, I … I don’t love you like I used to anymore, it’s such a weird feeling that I’ve never experienced before, I love you but I don’t.
I miss you but I try so hard not to.
I don’t understand why you left. Maybe because I was to unstable for you, maybe it was the fact that you just didn’t wanna hurt me anymore so the only way you knew from protecting me was you leaving. Maybe you just knew how I felt about you.

The thing that I don’t understand is, why out of all the people In my life that I trusted, loved and cared about so much it physically hurt me
That you the one person i trusted eith my life walked away …… with my cousin.
you love my cousin.

I hope you think about me, I hope everytime her birthday rolls around that you remember that that’s my birthday too. That you feel every aching, burning, mind ripping pain I felt when I think about you.

I hate myself because I still love you
And I love you because I hate myself.

You where there on nights nobody cared, you showed me who I really was and you lit the path for me.
If I could turn back time and showed you how much I really really love you, I would.

Why do you effect me so much … I don’t know.
But God, I hope you still think about me.
Even though, you probably don’t and your doing fucking great with out me.

I hate you so much
But oh god babygirl, how I love you so much too.
-M

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