Today, February 16, 2018, I am writing you a letter. A letter that defines everything for the past one year and five months of being alone. For the first few months, it felt very excruciating. I would woke up with sadness then had to fake being jolly at school then back to silence at home.
I became more okay as days passed. Little by little, I did not long for you. I thought. I was wrong. Recently, I saw pictures of you with a girl on your twitter account. I was shocked. At that moment, I regretted being online. I wished that i did not see it. The pain I felt when you ended up things with me came back in an instant. My heart broke, figuratively but my chest twinged, literally.
At first, I thought that I’m still in love with you, that I still need you. But again, I was wrong. I am no longer in love with you but I still love you. It was me feeling a bit of envy towards you. How can he found someone already when I’m still here, alone. Isn’t life so unfair? When in the first place he was the one who left me. How come you have moved on when I still have not., I should be first before you. I should be the one with my new man before you should be. I should be the one who was already happy and not you.
To end, contradicting my first statements, here I am writing myself a letter.