To my ex,
the one who has hurt more than you can ever know.
I don’t think 4 years ago, that either of us thought it would end up this way.
I loved you more than anything, more than I knew could ever be possible. But here we are, I’m heartbroken and you can’t even reply to my messages.
I know I didn’t take the best actions when upset or angry, but the catalyst of those actions was your constant lying and frequent cheating. The lies, which even now, keep coming to light.
I would’ve given you anything and done backflips if you had asked. Instead, you did and said nothing before ending it so suddenly.
I know what we had wasn’t perfect, but that was fine with me. I didn’t want perfection, I wanted you. I loved you and would’ve sacrificed everything, doing anything to keep you and what we had.
I wish I could forget what we had and who you were, but I can’t. Just as I am unable to wish you bad luck in your new relationship and a year of torture as I have had.
You have no idea how much the break up effected me and how often I wanted to just end it all. Some days I still do. Do you know what it’s like to wake up and wish that you hadn’t nearly every day for over a year?
I don’t know if you think ignoring me is what is right right now, or if that is an idea being fed to you by your new partner, who before we even broke up, was what mattered to you more than me.
I hope you now have what you felt you couldn’t have with me.
Who knows when or if I will hear from you again. Who knows if I will see you out and about. If these feelings continue, I may not be around to see you again.
I hope you do not expect me to make the first move after being ignored for so long. I am having to hold myself back, not to break down and give in and message you.
I hope you’re happy, but I don’t.
I love you, but I don’t.
You don’t deserve happiness after all you did in our relationship, but no one deserves to be unhappy and feel the way I do.
You will always have a special part in my heart, but sadly I have to get used to the fact that that is all that it’ll be.