I hope you’re proud of yourself

I hope you’re proud of yourself

I hope you’re proud of yourself

LTME-postDear Dustan,

It’s only been a couple of months but it feels like forever. I have so many questions. When you first came into my life you made me feel like the only girl in the whole world. You made me feel safe. You made me feel loved. You stopped at nothing to win my heart over. But then you started to pull back. Why? Why go on this relentless mission to steal my heart only to crush it? You told me I was safe with you. You told me the only way you would ever leave me was if I told you to. You told me you wanted to marry me. You told me that you would choose me every time, in any life and under any circumstance, you would always choose me. You said things to me that no man has ever said. So, how did you just toss me aside like I was yesterdays news? How do you destroy something you claimed to love? Did you ever love me? Did you ever intend on forever? Do you have any idea what I have been through these last few months? I can tell you that there were days where I just wanted to drop to the ground and lay there until I died. I had no will to live. NONE. I wanted to be left alone and to just let my world fall apart. But no, I had to carry on with my days and try my best to not think of you and all of these questions you refused to answer. You fucking played me for a fool. I will NEVER be the same person again and in a way that is a good thing. You destroyed that girl. The woman that walked out of the ashes of your lies is a changed woman. She will never be lied to again. She will put herself first. She will never again be so foolish. So I have to also thank you. Without you I wouldn’t have had the ability to turn my heart to stone. Without you, I wouldn’t have found the path I am on now. Without you, I wouldn’t of thought I could be so easily manipulated. Without you, I would still trust too easily. Any relationship that comes after you, will always be missing the part of me that I gave to you that you carelessly tossed aside. I will never get that back. So I hope you have it hanging on your wall of trophies. I hope you’re proud of yourself. I hope you sleep well at night knowing that I still wake up checking my phone for you. I do not wish ill will on you, but I truly hope that one day you realize what you did to me. If you ever faced the full spectrum of what you did to me, I assure you, you will not recover. Good luck in your life and career.

Regretfully Yours,
Melissa

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