No goodbye

No goodbye

No goodbye

LTME-postI don’t even know what I feel towards you at this point. Its been almost 7 years since I was with you. I’ve been in a new relationship this whole time, and I love him. Here you come crawling back into my head and this time I can’t get you out. I think about you every damn day and I know we will never be together again because I’m in love with my partner and can’t picture me leaving him but I can’t stop thinking of you. I wish there was a way to get you out of my head. When I first started dating my partner I never thought about you, I was falling in love too fast to think of you. I don’t know why my head has decided to start caring about you, what you’re doing nowadays, and so on. I want to be happy with my partner and wish you the best but I can’t. I keep hoping that you still love me. I looked at your facebook and see that you’re still single after all these years. I look at old pictures of you from 3 years ago that your friends posted on their social media and wonder why you’re still single. I still think you’re cute, just like I did back in high school.

I can’t tell my partner that I’m thinking of you so much because even I can’t understand these feelings that I’m having. Maybe its closure that I need from you, but I know you will never speak to me again. We ended things so bad, you will never speak to me again and it kills me because you meant so much to me. You are my childhood love, my high school sweetheart, the person I gave my virginity to and everything. My first real relationship, my first fight and my first make up. I couldn’t think of a live without you ever, and now I’ve been living over 7 years with someone new! It blows my mind… I wish we could have remained friends.

I do regret the way things ended and I know is selfish of me to want to speak to you in order to move on, but I wish you’d give me a chance to move on. I want to closure. I want to for once settle my feelings and figure out why I can’t stop thinking of you before it affects my current relationship.

I have so many things to say to you and to ask and I’d give anything to have one last conversation with you. I do wish you all the best as I always did even if its without me. I hope one day you reach out because even if I am able to get you out of my head, I will never erase you from my heart.

2 Comments

  1. Cristina 3 months ago

    Is happening exactly the same to me, after years, but I’m asking for some time to my current bf, I need close a cycle with my ex I dream about him everyday … Idk why he came back to my mind. I’m going to write him a letter to end up this once at all and move on.

  2. A 2 months ago

    Oh my. I can totally relate to how you feel. It’s about my first love too. And we loved each other too much, so much. But we lost each other along the way.. 14 years now, we are both in new relationships, and he’s about to get married to the girl he met aft me. I hate him but yet I don’t. I am too happy in my new relationship, my new life. But everytime I hear his name, or bump into him somehow, memories will come flooding and I will start to miss him once more. I am scared that I won’t ever be able to forget him and truly move on with my life. I want to love the person whom I’m with now as much as he loves me. But I don’t know how. Guess only time will tell.. I wish my first love all the happiness in the world, and yet I hope one day karma hits him like a bitch and he realised that he’s made a huge mistake letting us gO.

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