In perpetuum et semper

In perpetuum et semper

In perpetuum et semper

LTME-postDear Bubs,

I just want you to know that I am thankful, thankful that I had you in my life, thankful that I got to see you smile, to see you laugh, to hear you voice, to be by your side. I am thankful that you let me in your life even at a time when I was still broken, you accepted me and stayed even when all I did was self-destruct. I was broken, but with your help we slowly put all my broken pieces back together again, I started loving myself again, I started seeing life as something valuable, something that is worth cherishing. I was whole and I was happy again.
The day when I was suppose to go to your house to give your things back, I dreaded it the most, it was devouring me from the inside-out, but I knew it was for the best. I gave you your favorite kind of coffee beans, since I’m not gonna be able to make it for you anymore, so I thought you could make them yourself. I also gave you my recipe of scrambled eggs, since you loved them so much. I gave you some letters for you to read when I leave and I gave you a promise ring, a promise that we wouldn’t forget what we had, that we wouldn’t forget our time together, that we wouldn’t forget the memories we shared and created and that we wouldn’t forget about each other. That day I saw you cry for the first time, I saw the pain in your eyes when I started reminiscing about the first time we met, a tear streamed down you face as you said “I want to stay like this forever” your arms wrapped around me as we lay on your bed, it broke my heart, it broke me to see you that way, but it also was a relief because that’s when I knew that it was also so hard for you. When I stood up and was planning to go I looked at you and you smiled at me and god that smile, that smile was the reason to why I am living, the reason to why I chose to live, the reason to why I wanted to fight for what we had, because that smile meant everything to me. I said I love you and tears started running down your face again, you laid your head against my shoulder and it hurt, it hurt so much to know that we love each other too much and yet we still couldn’t stay together. I loved you too much and I became too blind to see that we were never meant to be. The people we are now aren’t made for each other, we couldn’t fight together, we couldn’t grow together, but we did learn from each other. You taught me happiness, you showed me that life is full of amazing things and that every single small bit of it can change my whole life. You showed me life, love and pain in the most beautiful way and I am thankful. I am thankful that I got to love someone as extraordinary as you and most of all I am thankful that someone like you loved me. You were an amazing chapter in my life, meeting you would never ever be a mistake because it is a blessing that God gave me, a blessing that helped me become whole again and I truly hope you gained something good from our short time together, because you gave me the world and I am thankful. I will cherish my life, so cherish yours too. I wish you all the happiness in the world my greatest love. I love you, forever and always, bound to you. VIII.

Forever yours,

Blobfish

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