I deserve better

I deserve better

I deserve better

LTME-postDear Ex,
I’ve known you for 6 years now.To first start, one of my classmates told me that you had a crush on me.At that time you were taller than me but the love you showed me and how i didn’t accept it.I’m sorry I’ve hurt you for days.I’m sorry when your friends came to me and told me that it was your birthday, I replied with “what should I do?”. I quickly realized what I’ve done was wrong. But when I came you. You aready moved on. I remember everything we talked about. I remember our small weird chats.We’ve known each other for 6 years. And the only times i remember talking to you is on ask.fm 6 years ago.you no longer use your ask.fm. i used to send questions to you anonymously.I never really checked on anyone’s account frequently. But ever since you told me that when you miss you, you always check my account and read whatever is going on with me.After that, I started always checking your tweets on twitter.I got to tell ur friend if it’s okay to add you on snapchat before going to high school.And when you added me Ifelt as if i was on top of the world. The 10th grade was a great year.I remember when you used to send a chat on my story saying you missed me.I thought when you are coming to high school we were going to be closer.But you didn’t even came to me.I’m sorry i’m not brave enough to look at you in your eyes when we aren’t together.But the many times that you always rejected me infront of your friends gave me depression.I started feeling better when i’m not talking to you. That one time when I went back from London. I tapped your arms and you screamed weridly, I opened up my arms so you would hug me and welcome me back. but you just left me there. you rejected me.I said it was ok but it wasn’t. I started changing the topic, then one of your friends came up and took you away from me.I thought about it alot, i’m even now writing all this. Because i don’t deserve this. YOU DON’T DESERVE ME. I am a loyal ass person. I tried to be with you through all the shit you were going through. but all you did was still reject me.You always makes me look weird.I feel on top of the world when you watch me or when i notice you around me.But why when i talked to you, you would role your eyes? Is it me or you? I don’t even know. Why when i am always happy i want to talk to you.After the day you rejected my hug, I came up to you. I was willing to speak up my mind to you. I told you why are you doing this, and all you did was laugh and just slap my face slightly. I was done with you at that moment. I was angry. I was confused. I told you that’s it. And when you left, I looked at you. But you didn’t even look back once. I still go to your twitter and watch whatever your tweets.My grades are getting better when i’m not talking to you.After that day, I blocked you on snapchat. You deserve it. Am i ever going to get back to you ? Are you coming to talk to me anytime soon? I dont know.
I’m really convinced that you don’t deserve me.Because when it was your birthday i stepped up to you and hugged you and wrote you a letter. I still remember how tightly you hugged me on your birthday.I blocked you before my birthday. You got a chance to tell your whole class it was my birthday but you didn’t even come to me. In fact, i was happy this year too. I got over you slightly. I started forgetting about you.I am probably still going to check your tweets.But I will never forget the fact that everyone around my is showing me love, and you over there hating on me and always rejecting me for being who i really am.I wish writing this letter will help me get over you. I don’t believe I need a human being who never really showed me love.I liked you for who you are, but you never really accepted me.I don’t understand why you told me that you missed me when you clearly don’t care of my existance.Yes, that hurt me.But my time is really precious these days and I am going to spend it with other people who love me and show me love rather than thinking about a loser who doesn’t even love herself. I started getting better without you, I still love seeing you around.When you are not around I get slightly sad.But I love myself and I do believer that I deserve a better person.

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