You were right
Time and space was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was selfish to not give you time and space when you originally asked. You are committed to your decision to not want me, and date other guys. I respect that. I understand you don’t have trust for me, and you want stability in your life.
I was hanging onto a dream that was dead. I was addicted to the thought of us. I was holding onto what we could’ve been. I was in denial and I was acting crazy. I understand your fears of having any form of communication with me, because you think the pain will eventually happen all over again.
I understand you’re scared of what I’ll do if you contact me. How I’d react, would I stalk you online, would I annoy you more, call you 10 times in a night? You fear that I’ll threaten your new-found independence and freedom. However, that’s all I ever wanted for you. Maybe you’re still hurt and in pain, and you can’t stand the sight or thought of me, idk. I support you wanting time and space. Take as much as you need.
I want to say thank you. Thank you for forcing me to learn the hard way. You lit a fire under me that has changed my life for the better. I’ve researched and read so much about relationships this past month.
I’ve told you before I’d change but looking back I didn’t do any self-reflection. I didn’t take the time that’s needed to change and improve. I’m in the process of making serious changes in how I conduct myself in my life. This summer I’m working on myself to grow/mature. I owe it to myself to get back to my passions and interests that made me attractive in the first place.
My relationship with my friends and parents is stronger than ever. I’m meeting with a therapist once a week to get a better grasp and understanding of where I went wrong, and what I need to do to better improve my wellbeing. I’ve never been busier in my life.
Work is where I distract myself. I’ve recently been given a lot of responsibility. I’ve made the transition from basic intern tasks to designing entire site plans and communicating with developers directly. I’m receiving much better instruction then I could ever be given through school. The girl above me just put in her two weeks, so I’m being thrown into a position that will offer a lot of opportunity and give me the ability to show my skills.
Maybe the next thing I’ll work on is my farts
Eat more chicken,