I need you more than I did before…

I need you more than I did before…

I need you more than I did before…

LTME-postHey..
I am writing this letter not to read it, but because I have often shut up inside and it is time to empty it..
I still remember our last kiss. It was four years ago. I still remember how it was and remember how I felt when I was in your arms..
I will not lie to you this time darling, I want to repeat the past again to be between your arms again,Dear, I am dying for you, especially for your smell. I still inhaled that smell when I closed my eyes..I know you forgot and moved forward .. But I’m still there in 2014 I wait for you in the school yard to warm me up .. I will wait forever I promise I will not love anyone after you, I promise you that my first and last love..
I did not expect you to forget everything that happened between us so quickly and fall in love with another girl so quickly .. I was expecting you loved me but it seems that your heart did not beat to love me and you never loved me, but you did not want to be lonely 🙂 Damn you, I was a very young girl and I do not have the ability to bear all this pain..
Do not you know what is more painful? The painful thing is that I always chose you. Because I only saw love with you, despite your repeated betrayal of me, I shut up and convinced myself that you would not betray me, because I did not want to lose you and did not want you to leave. I preferred you to my family and friends. Show everyone you are the best! I have always treated me as if I were nothing, you screamed at me in front of everyone and mocked me and despite everything you did I have forgiven you .. But I am also human, I have pride .. So I decided to give our relationship a chance and space to think. When I get away from you a little to think, what did you do? You abandoned me, you despicable .. abandoned me for a whole year .. And I kept waiting for your return silently .. But when I saw that your return is impossible ?? I came to you and begged you to come back .. I begged you a lot and I cried but you refused,You refused and told me in front of all my friends that you hated me and that I did not mean anything to you, I was embarrassed again, but it’s okay because I’m used to it ..And when I gave up and left you .. You came back to me after a year .. Ask me to be friends and start a new beginning .. My mind was rejecting the idea and it reminds me how bad I was with me, but as usual my heart was so sad that ready To accept to hide his love for you and accept the offer of false friendship .. And has won the decision of my heart as usual .. And we became friends or rather “You became my friend” But I was never a friend to you, uh If you know how I feel when I pretend that you are my friend only And I do not love you as before .. And as if a dagger pierces my chest .. I was afraid to hug you or to touch your hands or your face, I fear that my love appears to you by mistake ..How much I would like to tell you how much I love you, but I could not because friendship has a true border? But do not be afraid, my friend, because your girlfriend is very strong and I will go through that stage someday .. And this thing we both know that will not happen .. I will not skip memories and love .. because your wounds are still bleeding and hurts ..But even if I am dying of pain, I will never tell you this, because I do not want you to be sad for me .. I will do what I want and I will always be a friend to you .. I will never blame you for your mistakes .. I will protect you from everything and I will swallow your sorrows And also digest it .. It is not important .. Your happiness is more important than everything and more important than my happiness too, I will be happy to your happiness because your smile is the most beautiful .. Your smile is more beautiful than the sunrise and more beautiful than the moonlight .. And your smile makes me happy ..
Well, I talked a lot … my love, I wish you a lasting happiness and a beautiful future. I hope you can find the love you did not find with me. I hope you forget all the things that have happened between us. I want you to know that I am happy and very ..
I love you so much and I will always ..
I will do it even if it was the last work in my life .. Good bye
Your sincere friend

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