You hurt me. You gave me thoughts that we would get married, move to your home country… you introduced me to your friends, I talked to your father on the phone. You gave me entrance like I meant something. But you didn’t give me what I needed – consistency and commitment. Then I found the text. You stopped responding to texts and calls.
I have packed your things away and they sit in the closet. I can’t bring myself to take them to you because I just want to disappear out of your world. That’s what you wanted, right? I feel so much guilt, shame, embarrassment, and regret for things that I’ve done and said, though I know you have not been Stepford boyfriend either. Just 4 days ago you made me think we’d try again, start over, something. Then you ignored my calls and texts.
I could see the smile play at the corner of your lips when I ask you to give me a definitive “yes” or “no” about whether or not you want to be with me. You tell me we’ll talk later, or I’ll call you after I get off of work and the phone call never comes. I have to put closure to this myself because you’re not man enough to do it. As much as it hurts I still long to see your number flash across the phone. WHY? I have to let you go. This is so damaging to me spiritually and emotionally. I am hurting, and you could care less. You’ve moved on. Why can’t I?
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