It was my fault

It was my fault

It was my fault

LTME postI don’t even know where to begin. Saying you were the best thing that has happened to me thus far wouldn’t even be the start. It was only two short months before everything went downhill. Downhill all because of me. Those two months were wonderful and I’ve never had anyone make me feel the way you did so early on. You made me feel wanted and happy, it’s so cliche but I truly felt like the only girl in the room when you would look at me with your big brown eyes and glowing smile. I was scared that I would get hurt, because something so perfect could only exist in movies, so I began to push you away. I said we both could see that we were drifting apart and maybe it would be best if we saw other people.

I never thought those words, that one conversation, would be the cause of my own heartbreak. It took less than a few days for me to realize I was wrong, but almost a month to admit that to you. I knew I hurt you even though you denied it and my thought was that you hated me so I avoided confrontation. Finally bringing up that I was wrong, and regretted my words was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.

At first you were accepting of my apology and you were willing to put it behind us, so we made plans to see each other as soon as possible. But I could tell that something was up with you all week, so I asked. If I could’ve prepared myself for our upcoming conversation I don’t even think that would’ve helped the heartbreak I felt. You claimed you lost your feelings after what I said and you weren’t sure if you could get them back. You said you didn’t even think seeing one another in person would change your mind, or how you felt. You accepted my continuous apologies and claimed it wasn’t only my fault, but we both knew I could only blame myself. The emotions I felt during that conversation were some I have never felt before. Knowing that my stupid choice was the reason I lost you, I will use this as a lesson. A lesson to never run from something so great ever again.

So I want to say Thank-you. Thank-you for treating me so wonderful, and showing me that good people really do exist in this world. I’m not angry at you I’m only angry with myself. You deserve the world, and I hope you find the girl who gives you that. I hope you’re truly happy, because that’s all I could ever want for you. Everyone deserves to see your bright smile, it was always my favourite thing about you.


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