My sunlight

My sunlight

My sunlight

LTME-postDear babe,

How are you? Have you moved on? Hahahaha! Natatawa ako. Eto na naman. Nagsasawa ka na ba makabasa ng mga ganito? Pangalawa na to eh pero Sige. Wag mo na lang basahin. Walang kwenta ‘to. Swear! This is for the sake of my ka artehan sa buhay kaya ginagawa ko ‘to.

Hmmm. What to say now? Wala eh. I mean wala na kasi akong masabi pa sayo. Parang napagod na ko magsalita ng magsalita ng magsalita at kausapin ka. Kahit di naman na tayo naguusap. Wala naman akong mapapala sa ginagawa ko eh. Alam ko naman eh. Wala na rin naman akong obligasyon pa and sa tingin ko nagmumukha na kong desperate sa side mo so what’s the point? Pero maybe this is the right time to finalize everything. I’ll let everything out (kung meron pa).

Sometimes I still get these urges to contact you.message you like nothing happened.
It feels like pure desperation… Like my skin is crawling and my eyes are burning and I just want you back in my life so badly….calling you babe everytime.
And I don’t know why? Where these sudden urges come from?
Why do I still do this, even after all this time?!
When i feel like i have to stop and coming back to my senses that US is over,, suddenly I feel like I would do absolutely anything just to have you back in my life again.
Even for a single moment…. Just to see you, talk to you – ANYTHING!
It’s like I don’t WANT to be out, I DONT WANT, I still want to be in love with you because in my mind, loving you equates to happiness and I just want that back… just for one second.
But I have to remind myself it’s not healthy.
Loving you is not like it used to be – it’s not real anymore.
It’s not happy, it’s not positive…. and it’s gone and I can’t go back.
Because this is how you want. To end everything, then i realized whatever will make you happy is the choice im choosing. No more for my self. Its all for you because iloveyou and for now All I can do is put the phone down, blink back the tears … and keep moving forward.. but this question appers on my eye everytime. PAANO?

I miss you everyday

4 Comments

  1. A 6 months ago

    If u were my ex, I’d say, yes, that the situation wasn’t healthy. I needed the mental break. I needed to be selfish… I miss talking too.. I do miss you… what I wanted and what I got were two very different things. I wanted to hear your concerns, I wanted to hear I was a shitty person… I carried so much guilt and still do. But your probably not that person and I don’t dare fool myself into thinking so.
    Try the contact route, time isn’t the issue. We stand in our own way
    Good luck

  2. Meow 6 months ago

    What if they wanted you back in their lives too, but are too stubborn to say anything?

    • A 3 months ago

      No one achieves anything being stubborn… unfortunately, vulnerability sometimes reaps the largest rewards, but that’ll be a risk you’d need to take

    • A 3 months ago

      Being stubborn is a right you have, but is it really a choice you want? What has being stubborn achieved so far? You healed a little?, What if’s?, should have’s?, lost connection?
      Unfortunately, a vulnerable person can achieve so much more with a simple, hey how are you?, than a stubborn person.
      Yes they risk the embarrassment, the hurt of no reply, maybe even leave me alone but they tried.
      Now imagine if two vulnerable people decided to talk, awkward sure, but the risk isn’t so hard felt. They listen, they respond accordingly, they have answers. Maybe the conversation slows and they part ways or maybe they achieve so much more than either thought possible.
      Stubborn people only hurt them self. The big picture isn’t something they will have

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