Dear Ex (abuser), 

I am using my real name. I know it won’t happen but I want you to see my letter, almost like a cosmic sign pulling you to this page. I want you to know what you did. But what I mostly want you to know, is how I survived. 

There are 3 incidents that are so vivid in my memory like they were yesterday. Let’s do them in order shall we. 

1. Remember pulling my hair, kicking me to the ground, slapping me continuously on my face everytime I tried to stand up. Oh you don’t? Because you told your mother that I did that to you. Shockingly, her response was “we all have anger, you’ll work through it”. No. We don’t all have that anger. I remember thinking “I will get up, he will not break me”. You had tried to break me before and I don’t know why this instance of all is so stuck in my head. 

2. You punched me in my face downstairs. I took myself to bed and cried myself to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up with a sore jaw and I started to softly cry. You woke up and held me and apologised. The next morning you denied it ever happening. 

3. I had left. I came for my stuff. You had hidden my keys. The only way I could get them back was to have sex with you. This is the moment you broke me.  This isn’t the first time you raped me. But it’s the first time I understood what had happened. I got those keys and I ran. 

So this is what I wish I had told you. You sought me because I gave you everything I could of me. You twisted me and my relationships. You broke me in the end. But you didn’t destroy me. I mended myself and I have an amazing fiance and a gorgeous daughter. 

I will never let go of the anger. Because I do not believe you deserve the life you have. You abused me, you hurt me, you raped me. You made me think I was wrong. You are the monster. I will never hold back and protect you again. One day, karma will bite and I won’t be there to see because I am releasing any thought of you. 

Goodbye, and I hope you have a miserable life. 
Melody, the survivor.