I am currently living on an island in the middle of nowhere with people I barely know. I am telling you this because my life on this island is a thousand times better than my time with you. I wish you all the best. I know it’s difficult finding someone better than me. That break up was a dumb decision on your end. I heard you’re extremely heartbroken right now. That sounds like a “you” problem. 

That’s all

Sincerely,
Hotter than your ex, better than your next.