Shouldn’t but I do

Hi B?
You’ll probably never see this but I just want you to know that I hate you. I hate you for making me love you. I hate you for the way you treated me throughout our entire relationship. I hate you for the way you treated me after our relationship was over. I hate that I’m sitting here right now writing a message to online forum about how much I hate you. I hate you for not seeing my worth and how much I truly loved you. I keep waiting and hoping that you’re gonna change your mind and you’ll just realize that I’m the love of your life and that you can’t live without me but this isn’t a fairytale type of love so it makes sense that it doesn’t have a fairytale ending. I gave you years of my life and my youth and you repaid me by treating me bad and making me feel lower than what I was all because you couldn’t commit. I genuinely felt like we could’ve worked if you were actually invested but you weren’t. As much as I love you and don’t want anything bad to happen to you I also hate you and hope that you never find love. You can call it being bitter if you want. Maybe I am