Lady,

I’m sorry I could not be all the man’s man you wanted or originally idealized me as when we first met, but I am what I am, and I will not apologize for not meeting you expectations. I am a good man who was indeed loyal and supportive, not “uncommunicative” as you like to criticize. I gave you everything I could give in my heart, body, and soul including the building blocks of your shiny new life. In fact, nearly all the comforts and friends (including your new man) you so easily enjoy without me are testament to the result of my involvement and support in your life. You have never shown me a shred of real gratitude or respect for my efforts as your husband. I was just a resource to you, and you chose to withdraw more and more while I went through the tough times, attributing my situation as a testament to my weakness and “unworthiness” to being your spouse. It must have been a real “burden” for you to deal with all the hardships and mental stresses I imposed upon you. You life was so tough living with someone who didn’t cheat on you and worked himself into the ground to provide you with everything you had because he loved you, just not in a way you could comprehend or appreciate.

You accuse me of lying about my feelings regarding our relationship over the years, claiming I didn’t really want to be in your life as a family while you have, during our time together, cheated, lied, showed disloyalty, and have been deceptive about your intentions. In spite of all this, I married you anyway, thinking we had an actual shot. What an idiot I was!! You took more time fussing to your friends about how I hurt you and disregarded your feelings and needs rather than looking at how you may have had a hand in the events of our relationship or how I responded to YOUR controlling and demeaning behavior. You took no serious efforts to work with me to try to make things better via any type of professional counseling early on when it mattered most, and when it was too late, you expected me to jump through your hoops to prove something, all the while planning your escape while blaming me for the last act of “not caring”. I mean, you had already made plans to move out. They were in the works!

Unbelievable, your hypocrisy. I allowed you to make me feel like everything was my fault, and I allowed you to make me feel responsible for all of your life’s misery. Yes, I am adult enough to admit that I had my share in our issues, while you were content on being the “victim” to those who are in your precious circle, fussing about what a bad, inattentive husband I was to you. They say marriage is “for better or worse”, but with you it’s “while things go my way then we will see”. That’s why you have left a trail of broken relationships in your wake over the years, tattered with your acts of infidelity and the broken hearts of the other men you professed to love above all else. You didn’t learn anything then, and I doubt you have now because you continually find no fault nor take any responsibility in your own behaviors or actions.

I still hold feelings about you and our shattered relationship now, but you have to understand one thing. From my perspective, in the long term, you really gave me nothing more than I could have got from any woman, anywhere. Again, I allowed it to be this way. I accept that, and I have learned from it, believe me. I could have and should have either stepped up or left you long ago when you cheated on me that first time. However, I believed in our potential for a marriage that would last. Too bad you were too selfish and cruel to understand what could have been if the two of us would have seriously worked just a little bitter harder and learned to support each other better.

Don’t think your behaviors have gone unnoticed. They have where it matters most.

Once we are severed legally, I won’t miss your condescension and sarcastic attitude, or anything about the hypocrisy and lies in you life, Lady. I will, however, miss you in spite of it all, keeping in mind the specters that remain of a relationship that COULD HAVE BEEN.

Enjoy your life, but I don’t think that you know how in the long term. I pray for your sake that I am wrong. I don’t believe in karma, but I do believe you reap what you sow in God’s own time. As far as your belief in karmic debts, I have paid mine in spades and look forward to the happiness, prosperity, and true love which I truly deserve.

Good bye