I always told you that I met you at a time when I felt I needed change… You made me so happy, and the fact that you encouraged me to go after my dreams made me fall for you even more..

When I moved back, I was so excited about the idea of having you around me – from skype/random trips to NY/DC that left me crying…to actually waking up next to you [& the Chinese landlord that always complained whenever you tried to do the Insanity workout on his wooden floors lol].. It was such a struggle but those days were some of my best moments with you.

I know things got overwhelming, and you tried to help me move past the cheating situation… but it was so hard cause in my head you were my everything and I couldn’t just wrap my mind around it because It felt like a complete stab to my back… (from the only person I had ever opened up to). & I carried that stab wound everywhere (with the knife still in my back)… even when we tried to work it out… each time you would ask me to let you take it out, I wouldn’t let you because it hurt me a lot.. and I was wounded deeply.

It took me so long to realize that I had to take care of that wound because at the end of the day, the more I left it unattended, I was only allowing myself to feel more pain… [As an adult, one of the best things I can do is accept responsibility for my own mistakes, make sure I learn from them, and try my best not to repeat them…]

I think a lot about what we started out as, and even if I want to get closure on why things happened the way they did from both our ends, I think that would only take us 10 steps back…

As painful as all this is to talk about, I’m just writing this because I’m at a place mentally where I’ve accepted the reality of losing someone that was once my best friend.

I pray you keep your dreams alive & that they all come true… and always remember that overcoming struggles only builds your character & creativity.. so never give up..

All the best

Z