Dear M,
I Love(d) you so much! You showed me what real love was which is funny because everyone I now would beg to differ and would say, you showed me red flag after red flag. I knew better the heart always does. I think about all the odds stacked against us and how our relationship blossomed into sweetness, happiness and joy. Your gentle touch and sweet words were all I could ever want. I wish I could have harnessed your tough exterior and that gray cloud looming between us.

You took a long time to open up to me- someone said what you did was love bombing but that seemed odd because you if anything did not want to get close. Someone else told me you were gaslighting me, but in fact we rarely argued and the one time we did we settled it soon after. You didn’t do things to me then blame me for them. I will admit the nature of ur relationship was not exactly conventional but it worked when it could and it didn’t when it couldn’t. You always told me what you liked about me, you thought I was pretty, funny, stylish and you liked how I liked you. You would ask me to nap with you and you would hold onto me like you needed me, one time I was wearing denim shorts and you kept your hands in the belt loops. It was so sweet.

My friends would tell me when you texted me that it was only because it did not work out with some other girl, I guess it didn’t work out with 4 years of women. Alas you knew how to push my buttons and maybe because my lack of relationships I thought you were sincere. While I knew you loved sex, well I thought you did, it was not your purpose for being with me.

I loved more than anything our times together, the road trips, the adventures, the meals, but just being by your side was all I needed. Most people would have walked away after the first date and someone told me once things work out the way they do because both people choose to stay. I hoped it was more than just me allowing you to keep coming back. When I met you, you asked me what I was looking for and I Said “love” you Said you liked love. I had never Said that to anybody before and here I am four years later and when you send me these random texts out of nowhere not looking for a response just to make a statement, they make my heart skip a beat every damn time. sigh
Love,
Scarlett