To you,

There is a lot I have yet to say to you. No not to complain, a simple thank you. I’ll start by thanking you for treating me poorly. Although I never deserved that behavior it taught me to respect myself, and to hold higher standards as to whom I let into my life. You showed me the importance of having someone who cares for me enough to work hard, to lend a helping hand to those in need, and to speak with kindness.

I can’t help but think back to all those times you bailed on me after I begged you to come out. Your own insecurities destroyed us. I remember the sting of no longer being a priority in your life. I remember holding back the tears when I saw that you had moved on, and I certainly remember letting them flow as I read yet another text filled with excuses and broken promises. And from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for those times too. For they taught me how to be strong even when I felt like falling apart. They brought to me the most amazing support system I could ask for and for that I am so grateful.

It took me time to truly be thankful for these things, as rotten as they were. I mostly appreciate them for reminding me of how blessed I am to have people who love me completely and fully, as they should. They build me up when I have fallen down, speak with grace when needed, and always make me laugh.

I don’t know where you stand today, what your future holds or how you feel and I may never know. However I hope these past experiences have taught you a thing or two as well. My prayer and greatest hope for you is that you have learned the importance and value of being a gentleman, living a life rooted in kindness and to consider others as a priority above yourself. I do not hate you, and although I certainly can’t say that I don’t miss you, I have to set free the pain I allowed you to bring upon my heart.

I want you to know that I loved you. I loved you through every emotional part of this roller coaster life. I loved you when you were pleasant and kind and also the days you were unrecognizable to me. I loved you through life changing circumstances and the rapid movement of time. I even loved you when you decided that you no longer loved me. I probably still love you. But most importantly, I still love myself, and I still know what real love is.

I guess the difference between you and I is that my love is unwavering.  It is love that is deep, and provides restoration in my faith and within people. A love that I was taught as a little girl, to love wholeheartedly in everything I do.

You have broken my heart, but not the love within my life. I know you have it too, deep inside you, and my love allows me to genuinely hope that you will understand this one-day too.  Yes you have broken me. But I will be OK. I will be OK because the love inside me is strong and true. I will be OK because no matter how many people hurt me in this world (like you) I will always have a support system who will fill my life with love and strength, no one can take that from me, not even you.

With thanks for all that you taught me,

Haven