Dear You,
I’m trying to forgive you. I never thought you’d do this to me, but I know that there’s something that you’re struggling with. I can’t really put my finger on what it is, but it’s what broke us up. Maybe it’s a fear of the unknown (our future). Maybe you thought that we were eventually going to break up anyway (you talked about us starting to build up resentments against each other at some point in the future). Maybe you ended it so you wouldn’t get even closer and have to deal with more potential pain later.
Maybe I’m all wrong on that theory. Maybe you realized that you weren’t ready to take the next step with us. Maybe you stopped loving me but were too scared to tell me that. Or maybe it is, really, just the distance like you said. Maybe it’s something else, but it’s definitely something… something that caused you to put up a wall and not let me in any further.
I just hope that, whatever it is, you don’t bury it. I hope that you can be at peace with yourself and work on whatever it is that’s holding you back. You deserve to be happy – I hope you don’t ever give me a reason to actually wish unhappiness upon you… because I think that there are people out there who actually deserve that.
I’m trying to forgive you… I’m trying so hard. I miss you. I wonder if you miss me too. Are you writing? Do you care about me? Will I ever hear from you again? Do you even know that you hurt me and that I’m still hurting?
Sometimes I still think about the shared dreams we had, but maybe you lost sight of those dreams. Or maybe, I’ll be happy in the future knowing that those dreams didn’t come true. Or maybe they still will come true. While I admit that we both had flaws and that our relationship was flawed at times, overall, I think we were great. And it’s hard to let go of those dreams sometimes.
But maybe they were just that – dreams, which hardly ever come true. I guess we all have to learn that lesson at some point…the hard way for many, if not for most.
But maybe I’m wrong; maybe better and bigger dreams will be fulfilled for me, and you’ll be a memory. But I’ll always remember you with softness in my heart.
Love,
Me
3 Comments
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Beautifully spoken by someone who clearly has a beautiful heart. I pray you will fulfill your dreams, whatever they may become, and that you never lose that softness.
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I started crying reading this because this is either directed at me or you are saying everything I wish the one I think about would just come forward and say so I can open my heart again and tell that person “I am better now and I have found peace within myself. I miss you too. I want us both to forgive each other. I’m so sorry you were hurting because I never wanted you to go through any pain like I did. I want you to come back into my life. Maybe things can be better than they were before.”
If this is a stranger, then you have a great heart. The best thing is to let that person know that you still think of them and to build trust if you want that wall to come down so they can open up to you about what they are struggling with, even if it means having to let those dreams go – at least for the time being.
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I’m writing now:) Though it is too late for you are gone & I will respect your wishes for I can at least do one thing right. You young lady are the most loving soul I have ever met & I than you for all the times we shared. You may laugh…I regret none of it, not one single moment for that is how much I will always love you. Goodbye she who gave her all & will always remembered as so.
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