Dear Ex,

This is a letter I have been needing to write for such a long time and I’m hoping that once its completed, that I will never again have to think about you ever. I need to get this off my chest and my only regret is that I can’t send it to you. If I was to send it to you, I would have to deal with your winger, whining and pathetic self.

I started to date you a year after breaking up with my first partner, where the relationship ended badly. Things went well for about 3 months with you, but then it started to go downhill.

The reason it went downhill is because even though I told you all about how bad my previous relationship was, you didn’t care. You used the bad experiences to your advantage to push me down and keep me lower than you. You used my jealous tendency to full advantage when you told me you wanted a threesome with your best mate (who was a girl) even when I knew you wanted to be with her originally.

This best mate of yours was always held in higher regard than me and you would always go to her first for anything you wanted whether it be a place to sleep, someone to hang out with, someone to talk to and even when you wanted to  wank off with your small pin dick over a nude pic.

This is unacceptable behaviour to do when your in a relationship and frankly I am disgusted at myself for letting the relationship go on for as long as it did (6 months).

You are the most pathetic, lowlife son of a bitch I have ever met and honestly, no, I can’t wish you well in life at all. I do not wish you happiness in anything that you do in your life at all.

I found out that you are dating a new chick now, she is a fat ugly bitch and, well, I hope she leaves you coz you don’t even deserve her. You deserve no one.

I am so happy with my new man who is 100 times the man you are, he supports me and loves me and actually wants to be with me. We will get married when we feel it is time and I will be more happier than I have ever been.

Oh, by the way, have a fucking shower and wash yourself coz your little pin dick smells disgusting, your unhygienic pig.

Signed,

Your awesome, now better off Ex.

(To people who read this, sorry about the caustic nature of my letter, but I do feel better that I got it off my chest. Thanks for reading)