Dear X,
I was so close. I almost gave up on everything. I would have stayed in my room and never come out. Ate after school but never show my face. Pretend I don’t feel good so I didn’t have to talk to people. I loved you… I still do. I don’t know why I feel like you were the best thing, even though all you did everything to hurt me. I have your box.. The one with all of your stuff in it. All of it. Your CD that you gave to me with the song you gave to me. The first sweatshirt you gave me when I was cold. The blanket we ate on when we went on our first date under the stars. Everything. I really wish you knew how many things I wanted to tell you but couldn’t. Like ho my brother had passed away. how my dad hurt me in ways I couldn’t even explain. I just can’t believe after everything we went through together you got mad because your friend talked to me. You told me to date J***. I did. You told me to die in a hole. I tried. You told me to never talk to you again. I didn’t ever again. You told me to look prettier then maybe you would like me again. I did. I got nose job. died my hair. Got a lip ring. Double pierced my ears. Got contacts instead of glasses. Bought a lot of crop tops. Was the bad girl in school who wore shirts who barely showed her butt. Shirts that showed most of my bra. You noticed me again.. But in a bad way. So then I got a boob job and a butt job. You still looked at me but once again in a disgusted way. I decided to stop that way of life. So then I put on the sweatpants, boots, and sweatshirt I usually wore. You looked at me the way I once looked at you. So I wore that everyday. you finally said we could be friends, After that we got really close.. we strated to go out again. You told me one day you didn’t like the way I looked because I had to big of boobs and to big of a butt. Every night I cried after that. I told you a week later that you either loved me for the way I was or the way I looked. you said even though you didn’t like the way I looked you loved me. Then you got mad other guys were staring at me. You got very jealous. Accused me of cheating. I never forgave you. I left and walked out on you. Just like you did to me. You did the same thing I did.. wrote letters, e-mails, texts, and non-stopped called. You stopped. A year later I found out we went to the same art in France. You had a child then. You had a divorce and got custody. We went out on a date. He told me that walking out on him was the best thing I had even done. He got married but found out it was the wrong one. Adopted a kid with her before he left. he got the custody. i asked what the little girl’s name was and he replied with..”Ryanna.” Then he asked if I would be the mother. I agreed to help him but not to mother her. I was not ready. So then once again we got close. when things got out of hand… we separated. I got in a severe car accident. I was in a coma for 7 years. The minute I woke up you were there with Ryanna. Every day you came in.. I could hear her. The one day.. I could see you. You told me everything that had happened. The next day was my birthday. When we ate the cake.. I couldn’t cut it. Something was in it. Then I looked at it, and it was a ring. I thought it was somebody else.. I thought it was J***. So I said yes. When I figured out it was you.. I showed you everything I did for you. All the surgery. The tears. All the times my dad came in and thought I was on my period because there was blood on the sheets. Little did he know. You gave me a teddy bear… I threw it on the road because you didn’t fight for me. You let me leave. You got ran over when you went to go pick it up… at the hospital they gave it to me and I squeezed it. It said the the deadest voice…”Will you marry me?” I ripped it up and found a ring inside… That was the moment I realised I waisted so many years being mad when I should have been with you. Who else would i have changed for? Nobody… Nobody. I love you baby.. Forever and always. <3