What I wish I’d told you

Why would you, after 2 years of a relationship, go to the woman you said would never even consider in that way?

I heard from everyone that you immediately got with her, is it your revenge? Your coping mechanism? What you always wanted? I will never know because you wont even look at me rather speak to me. 

I didnt want to end that relationship, I just had to put myself first, as I should’ve a looong time ago. 
I just wanna know why did you do all that. Why? 

And then blame me and make it seem like I’m awful because I left you via text. You should KNOW why i did that, and what you should know is not to treat any woman like you treated me.

I don’t resent you or anything I just don’t understand you, maybe for the better?

We shall never know, sincerely (was) yours. #####

We had broken up but he still made me promise to never leave him, made sure I was okay and stayed by my side when my Grandma was admit in the hospital, saved my voice notes, remembered the time we had confessed our feelings to each other (5th July 2026 6:48 PM) but still he was the first one to leave he left me after making me promise.

He used to beg for my calls, always texted first keeping his ego aside because he knew I will never do it. We both hid a lot of things from each other – like how many exes we had, when our last relationship had ended etc. We both were really toxic for each other but it felt nice with him. It was like two red flags dating each other and both of them becoming soft for each other.

During the time when we used to talk and date he had called me a lot of things behind my back, even I did too, to my friends. On the very first day April 10th 2026 when I first saw him I was mesmorized by how pretty he was. Those tired brown eyes, they were the prettiest, but he was really popular so I had started to dislike him because every girl in our class liked him. He started liking me in the last week of May and we started talking on 30 June.

We dated, but due to some family issues we broke up after 10 days. I still miss him even though I know I should hate him. Everyone made so many conspiracies about him that he is only using me and I can’t even avoid those theories. Once he and I had made plans to go to the cinemas togther to watch the Spiderman movie, but then he made an excuse that his older brother’s friends were coming and I couldn’t go with him – It was a lie.

I blocked him 4 days ago because things ended and he was the one who had texted me saying we can’t talk now. But when I unblocked him, he immediately followed me and I blocked him again. If he wants to talk to me so desperately then he has my phone number to text on. He is blocked on instagram, so he can only still reach out through whatsapp or even through his friends, but he hasn’t ’til now.

Dear Zee,

If I’m being completely honest, I still miss you.

I miss your beautiful brown eyes. I miss that smile you had that always felt like it was just for me. I miss laughing with you until we couldn’t stop. I miss those little moments where we’d sway together, smile, and just stare at each other. I miss the way we could be together and somehow lose track of everything else around us. I miss those little moments that probably seemed insignificant at the time.

I miss that feeling.

I miss us.

I wish I could tell you that I’ve completely moved on, that I don’t think about you anymore, that the memories don’t still get to me sometimes. But that wouldn’t be true.

Sometimes I wish I could go back—not to change everything, but just to have one more night with you. One more laugh. One more dance. One more chance to hold you and feel like everything was okay.

I wonder if we could find each other again—not by pretending nothing happened, and not by going back to exactly who we were, but by meeting each other as the people we’ve become.

I’d want another chance.

I’d want to take you out again. I’d want to hear you laugh again. I’d want to make new memories that aren’t just memories I’m replaying in my head years later.

I’d want to hold you again and have that strange feeling of, oh yeah… this is where I’m supposed to be.

I know things weren’t perfect. I know there’s a lot of hurt, and I know I can’t change the past.

But if somehow life gave us another chance, I’d take it.

I still want you.

I still want to know what it would feel like to find each other again, to make new memories instead of only replaying the old ones.

Maybe it’s foolish to still hope.

But tonight, I don’t want to fight that feeling.

I just wish you were here.

I wish I could look over and see those brown eyes again. I wish I could make you smile, pull you close, and forget for a moment that so much time has passed.

I miss you, Zee.

And if you ever came back…

I don’t think my heart would know how to say no.

— Mick

Hey, 

I’m writing this in hopes to release this feeling I’ve been keeping inside me. You know, it pains me how you didn’t give me any warning signs how the relationship was about to end. I only had a day to process and then done. I hate how I didn’t get a chance to ease your worries, change your mind, or even hear me out. 

I hated how you asked for opinions from everyone around you except me, the one involved in the relationship. When it was my time to hear it out, your mind was made up and not an ounce of me could even change it. I knew that even if I begged for you to stay and give me a chance, I knew that in the long run, I’d just suffer.

I hated that you decided for me as well. I hate how you decided that I wouldn’t be happy with you in the long run just because I was willing to leave my family and friends and move to a foreign place with you. 

I hate how you didn’t even ask for my opinion. 
I hate how even if you erased me from the equation the moment you had your mind set.
I hate how deep down, I am making excuses so I wouldn’t paint you as the bad guy in my mind.
I hate how easily you are bearing this breakup when this is crushing me from within.
I hate how you made me be afraid of nights.
I hate how you made me scared of having the lights out.
I hate how I built so much of myself, worked so hard to be in remission, only for you to break me back into tiny pieces I HAVE TO REBUILD AGAIN. 
I hate how I loved you so much. I loved you with my whole heart and that wasn’t enough.
I hate how I couldn’t fully hate you. 

Because at the end of the day, my love is always bigger than hate.
My understanding is bigger than my jealousy. 
My heart was bigger than yours.

I can’t believe I’m writing this when it’s been years since we talked or saw each other. We both moved on with our lives, have a family of our own but you took a piece of my heart with you that I’ll never get back and believe me, I miss it dearly. Years have passed and I never forgot you, as a matter of fact I never stopped loving you. I never held on to the hope of us being together again because I knew that would never happen.

I have to confess something. Even though I’m married, l constantly longed for your touch, your kisses, the fire and passion you ignited in me and the way I felt with you. After you, I never felt that again. Been married for years. He’s a good man but unfortunately I never felt with him what I felt with you. I wonder how our lives would’ve been had we stayed together. I fantasized a lifetime with you. I’ll never get to tell you everything you meant to me. Just know that the moments I spent with you were one of the best moments of my life. I will never regret you – you were everything I ever wanted.

I’m sorry for being insecure and scared and not telling you that I love you. Maybe this lifetime wasn’t meant for us. But if there’s another life, look for me – I promise to never let go again.

Hey J. I hope you’re doing well. I just wanted to tell you that I still think about you everyday. I wonder what you’re doing and how you are, and honestly I don’t know when I’ll ever stop. I think I’ll always be thinking about you, because I genuinely care for you and hope you’re okay.

I can’t stop caring about someone I loved for two years and I hate it. I’m not here to ask you for anything or any favours. I genuinely miss you every single day. I regret so much leaving you that day, I wish I didn’t. I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason but I don’t get why I’m still thinking about you when I shouldn’t. I keep trying to forget about you, hate you, pretend you don’t exist but I can’t.

I fell in love with you for a reason. I know you’re a good person, so I can’t ever hate you, you’ve done so much for me. I’m sorry for the way things ended and everything after that. 

I hope you know just how much I loved you and cared about you. You were my #1 every single day for almost two years. Some people tell me that’s short and some say it’s long, but it was so nice to have someone by my side for that long and know me so well inside and out. I loved getting to know you and growing to love you more everyday we were together. I truly wanted forever with you. There wasn’t a day where I didn’t love you or want you in my life. I don’t know where you are in your life but I hope you achieve everything you want. Wherever you end up down the road I hope that you’re happy. I’ll always hope the best for you and support you from afar. Even though we’re going our separate ways, I’m so thankful to have known you and be loved by you for a small part of my life. 

I know with every part of me that what we had was real and was real love and I’m so grateful for it all regardless of how things have ended between us. Every tear, every smile, every laugh during those years was all because of you. Some weren’t good but many were. I can’t describe how much I appreciate all you’ve done for me. I’ll forever be thankful of you whether or not we ever see or talk to each other ever again. I’m not expecting a reply or anything, take this as me letting go, moving on and saying my piece. I’ll always care about you no matter where I am in life. You’ve impacted me in so many ways and I’ll never forget it.