It didn’t seem all that long ago when I asked you out on the fateful night, almost everything about our meeting I would describe as fateful. I still remember, fighting with my nerves to confess I liked you, the pounding of my heart, when I awaited your response, the overwhelming joy, when you said yes. Everyday I spent with you was in happiness, I loved you; you were everything to me, my happiness, my joy, my girlfriend.
Hey
This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. You were with me for such a large part of u life you were a central part of it. You were everything I’m sorry I couldn’t show you I thought I was but I never did connect with my emotions well. I thought that always being there for you and telling you could show you that I was wrong. You realised the truth that I’m not good enough and the effort isn’t worth me and I know that I just beloved it when you said all those beautiful things but me you made me feel like a real person with no problems who’s mind was normal and was in love thank you. I’m really sorry about us I’m sorry about being me as well I tried to be the best I could. I’m.Not going to say everything I did because it wasn’t good enough. I’m glad you’ve found him and he makes you happy he is a great guy. I just wish he was me. I still believe that were ment to be we know so so much and know how to help I’ll always be here in the background I hope you remember me you were and still are perfect and I’ll always be here. I love you still always and forever I miss you I miss you so much
A word,
its pretty difficult to express how i feel now. Honestly, im not even sure anymore.
I have a girlfriend now and a brand new life. its been around 4 years since i had you with me as hard as it is for me to believe that when i say it out loud. Time for me has come to a standstill. its almost as if i live in a vacuum of time and space all alone. i was angry with you for so long, i wished that you never existed. I went out of my way to make you pay for my pain with your tears and it seemed like every apology you served to me felt just as empty and hollow as the last.
I’m writing because it’s so incredibly hard moving forward. I keep having a conversation with you in my head. So I feel like I need to write one last letter to get these thoughts out. Maybe for closure. Maybe as a cathartic “goodbye”.
You did tell me that you didn’t know who you were anymore & that you didn’t want to date anyone. The way I found out still hurts. I was devastated. I didn’t understand how you could jump into a new relationship so quickly. You told me you wanted to live your life as though you didn’t have a boyfriend, & now you have a new boyfriend.
Dear Lew,
You were my first love. To be incredibly cliche… I was actually stupid enough to think that we would be “together forever”. I’ve never done anything wrong by you for you to turn into a complete asshole and treat me so badly after having me as your woman. I loved you unconditionally. I accepted your past and loved you for every thing that you were (well at least I though you were). You’re a fucking liar and a cheating asshole.
Hey You,
I know that there is a strong chance you will never see this letter, but I need to do this for my own sake. I have written something similar to this countless times. I don’t know how else to say what I’ve felt for the past (almost) eight years, and frankly, I’m not even sure where to begin. I guess I’ll start with- I forgive you. It’s taken me longer to finally accept the fact that there will never again be an “us.” And that’s ok. We were both so young when we started out; both around 13, and this continued on until I turned 20. When it finally ended, I remember nights where I felt so low… I honestly saw no point in living, as dramatic as that sounds. You have no idea how much our parting ways affected me. When a 17 year old girl is told she’s loved, she actually believes that just maybe the relationship has a chance. She thinks her relationship is different from the rest because it’s “true love,” when in fact it’s just the opposite; it’s first love. A compelling kind of romance. Almost everyone has believed in this at one point or another.
N,
I’m really not sure what I’m doing or even if I’m doing it right, and I always cared so much about what you thought of me even though I shouldn’t have, so even though you’re never going to read this I want it to be okay. It’s just sometimes you used to look at me like I was worthy of something, and it’s never that I thought I wasn’t good enough for you or that you had unrealistic expectations of me, but rather I could never grasp the concept that the person you thought of as exceptional was the me I am today. Or I was anyway, because if it was the present me I wouldn’t be writing this letter, because I wouldn’t still be thinking about you as often as I do.
Dear C,
This might be stupid but it’s also one of those nights where I’m having trouble falling asleep. The tears don’t flow anymore. Maybe I’ve finally accepted that there is no “us”. I wish you could know what I felt for you was true and I wish I could tell you, you look the best when you are smiling. I know that I ended things abruptly. We always knew that I loved you more than you ever could.
To you or me?
Some days I wake up and I feel like I’m over it, other days I wake up either hating you, or missing you. I guess its just a process that only time will help. The anger is the emotion that changes and is emotionally draining. Its just a process… some moments I’m angry at you because I can’t believe you could be so selfish and heartless to hurt me at a time in my life when I needed you the most. You cheated on me on the day i buried my brother who was like one of my bestfriends. He died unexpectanly and so young..i am usually a strong woman, but that experience shook my very foundation. The one time in my life that i welcomed, the feeling of weakness, the vulnerabilty. You were so close to my brother and I understand you were feeling hurt too, but the fact that you could have no regard for me, my family, our family, only be driven by selfishness and poor judgement…So yes there are the times that I’m angry at myself for loving a man who could be so weak and fucked up to allow opportunity to trump loyalty and integrity.
Hey you. I’ve been thinking about you today. I still love you darling not a day goes by when I don’t think of you and how much I love you. Not talking to you kills me I worry about you if your safe and happy and it scares me That I’ll probably never know. I really miss you I miss everything I miss seeing you and my whole day lighting up I miss seeing you smile when you look at me I miss my phone buzzing and my heart skipping a beat.